I think that you have made some very good points about me and my problems.
From journal writing, listening to audio books, and reflecting I have gained some insight into what I am doing to push my boyfriend away. I have noticed patterns that I am a very competitive person. I have a hard time just rolling over and taking blame for things that I didn't think I did, but that my boyfriend will not let go of. If I would just say, "Okay I might have done that, but I didn't realize or mean to and I'm sorry if I did", then he would have let it go. But I say that I didn't think I did anything wrong and we fight about it. I am also very matter of fact. Things are either black or white. I am not the type of person who thinks about the grey areas. Finally, I have been trying to give my boyfriend more space so that he can relax and reflect upon himself.
I would love to talk to a behavioural therapist. Unfortunately, I am in South Korea and therefore I don't have readily available access to them. I was wondering if you know of anyone or way I could come into contact with one to help me. I often feel lost and confused and would love to finally solve these problems. I want to be the best version of me and I think I need someone to guide me. Thank you for your help so far!