How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5506
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
54658078
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Kate, Thanks for your earlier response. I appreciate it

Resolved Question:

Kate,

Thanks for your earlier response. I appreciate it but putting some or for that matter any of your suggestions into place right seems impossible.

I going to share something with you that only my "other" therapist knows. About two weeks ago I was picking up my daughter from a friends place. It was only 5:30 p.m. but already dark outside. I couldn't see the house numbers but it was in a good area of the city and it turned out I parked only 4 houses away.

As soon as I got out of my car, someone pushed me face first into the side of it and heldl me there. They wispered in my ear the following "don't cause any trouble unless you would like a second child." I was terrified and I was pushed the exact same way into my car when one of the sexual assaults happened about two years ago.

I did not see the person's face or recognize the voice. But it had to be someone who knew me and knew about the assaults due to the content of the message given to me.

I knew I should have parked right outside the house where my daughter was but I could not see well.

Then in the course of two weeks I experienced a very bad infection in my molar which resulted in it needed extracation, was rushed to emergency due to severe abdominal pain (due to a problem in my pancrease), rushed back two days later because I was covered from head to toe in hives and then developed a second infection in my tooth after it was pulled.

I think this all became too much for me. I don't or at least try not to feel sorry for myself but this time, I gave in to a pity party for myself.

On Friday at my session, my doctor insisted we call the police and she stayed an extra 5 1/2 hours with me for support while I spoke with them. I was terrifed and they have referred me to Special Victims Unit. I will have to call them.

The problem is I am jealous that she could go home to her family and enjoy them and I was left with a big mess and so many many emotions. I can't stop crying. I can't stop wishing for death. I can't stop feeling sorry for myself but worst of all I feel so filled with anger and impatience with everyone around my.

Sorry this is so long. I haven't even journaled this yet.

Kathy

p.s. Happy New Year.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Hello Kathy,

 

I appreciate you sharing the story of your attack. We did talk about it earlier, a few weeks ago when it originally happened, which you may not recall because of the intense emotion you were experiencing around the attack. It helped to hear about it again, though, because sometimes telling it again at a later time adds details or helps because you have had time to process it.

 

I was not aware of all the medical incidents, though. That was a lot to go through, especially right after the attack.

 

I am glad to know that your therapist supported you and that she encouraged you to contact the police. I think that was a good move on your part and having her there had to have helped a lot.

 

When you go through multiple traumatic incidents like you have, especially in such a short period of time, it is very easy and sometimes feels almost automatic to turn the feelings onto yourself and have a pity party. Pity parties sound bad, but they are a necessary part of getting through traumatic events. It is a rare person that can face a huge trauma then brush themselves off and get on with life. Pity parties help you console yourself and comfort yourself after such a horrible event. And as long as you don't get stuck with feeling sorry for yourself and eventually move on, a pity party can be very healthy.

 

Being jealous of your therapist going on with her life while you suffer is a way to express your insecurities about what you went through. You feel it is not fair that others go on while you suffer. Jealousy is often caused by feeling you are less worthy than others. But jealousy is also based on assumptions, and therapists are often subjects of assumption just because it is the nature of their job to leave themselves out of therapy and focus on the person they are working with. This leaves room to assume all kinds of things about their lives and to transfer your feelings onto them.

 

It would help you to express these feelings to your therapist. It is actually very healthy that you felt jealous of her because your relationship allowed you to express a deep feeling and attitude you hold about your life onto her. Talking about it with her will help you discover the reasons behind why you feel jealous and what can be done to help you deal with the feeling in the future.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5506
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education