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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My 19 yr. old daughter is registered on a nanny website. She

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My 19 yr. old daughter is registered on a nanny website. She has never been a nanny before.

The other day she was contacted by a family from Houston, Texas. The young couple have 1 yr old and 3 yr old sons. The father wrote on their website profile that they have a lifestyle where they leave doors open, sometimes are in underwear and sometimes nude. They are looking for a nanny who is comfortable with this lifestyle.

Juliette found out that the father is a 38 yr old internal medicine doctor from El Savador and his wife does the billing at home. The father gave the website to his practice.

Juliette doesn't know what to think. She is tempted to interview with the father as he would pay $300/wk. which is good pay. The family wants someone who would stay from 12 to 48 months. The couple speak Spanish and Juliette has always wanted to pick up
on another language.

One of my friends said her family would never let their daughter work for this family. Another friend said the nudity is a window into something else and another said it is a big red flag but at least they are up front about it.

Juliette's stepdad thinks that Americans are hung up about nudity and it is healthy to be open about one's body. (I think he just wants her to get a job so he won't have to give her any money).

My question to a mental health expert is-- why would anyone want to lounge around in underwear or nude, esp. with an employee there. Am I being just plain gullible as thinking there is anything to this other than some sort of sexual perversion? I have always tried to think the best of people and have been burned all through my life. My daughter is very non-judgemental also. She thinks no other nanny would put up with this, but she would be willing to to make the $300/wk as she wants cosmetic surgery. Juliette is a pretty modest person.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.

I agree with you. I think people should be able to live their life as free as they want. This includes their sexual freedom. However that does not include when you have a stranger in your home with their own ideals of what is appropriate. People are free to decide the levels of nudity they are comfortable with but that should be limited to your family with your values. When you have someone working in your home you are imposing your values onto them.


I think it is inappropriate and even irregular to ask someone to accept inappropriate boundaries because of a job. You are forcing them to accept this in exchange for a paycheck. That is unfair. I would suggest that she not take the job if she is uncomfortable. If she takes it this will put her in a position where she is stuck in a job where she is forced to accept behavior that is very uncomfortable.


I would keep looking. This situation probably will never happen again. The "good" pay may be a way to say I will pay you well if you accept my inappropriate expectations.


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