Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
It was your wife who withheld the information from you whether or not she had outside advice. I don't agree with what she did
, to terminate this life without your knowledge and consent, and I do not agree with what the psychiatrist recommended.
However, even if it was not morally ethical, it did not either violate his professional code of ethics or the law. I am sorry, but this is the way he is protected. He only gave advice, which was perhaps, in the long run, not in her best interest as it may affect her relationship with you.
Give her understanding. He is anxiety
prone and she acted with professional guidance. What has been done cannot be undone. Try to forgive her and to move forward in a positive way. Use your faith to lean on and give you guidance and find the love in your heart to comfort her even if she strays from what you believe to be correct behavior.
Resolve for 2012 to be a better year with more understanding between you.
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC