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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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what do you do when your spouse constantly revisits his past

Resolved Question:

what do you do when your spouse constantly revisits his past which makes me miserable? In addition to his controlling ways what to do we've been together over 35yrs and I've had it I'm tired
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.

If your complaint is that he lives in the past that doesn't seem enough if you have been together 35 years. I bet there are other problems that go hand in hand with this issue. His living in the past can be very upsetting especially if the relationship has other problems. It targets your sense of insecurities in the relationship and says that time was better. I was happier then. The best option if the relationship is this troubled then the best option is to find a marriage counselor. This can help him identify why he lives in the past and what is different between then and now. Whatever is making you miserable should be the focus of that setting.


I would first get him to understand why this makes you miserable and what feelings it provokes. See if you can get him to understand. Let him know why you feel so miserable when he does this. When you ask for his help you get him motivated to work on this as well. He might not know. If you can't work it out between the two of you then hire a professional. Often problems are not resolved because there is poor communication. If you are just tired then speak to a professional to help you. Decide what you want out of this relationship


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