How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask psychlady Your Own Question
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been depressed for years but on the outside I look ok

Customer Question

I have been depressed for years but on the outside I look ok, usually. If I can't pull it off I hibernate which is what I am doing now. It's exhausting to try to look normal. I am overly sensitive to being misunderstood. Very responsible. Abused and betrayed forever. I am losing sight of anything good and wonder if it would be better for my sons who are grown now if I wasn't here. I apparently bring them down. I feel like I have to be 100% or they are impatient with me. I don't see them that often and I miss them. But on the other hand they expect me to be normal and I am not. I have a diagnosed mental illness due to severe and ongoing trauma growing up. What now? How do I go on? I am too tired to wash my hair and bake a loaf of bread and go to a function. Make small talk? Lie and say I'm
 sick? I would rather do that. I will never get better. I have something many people even professionals, don't believe exists. Trust me it does and it is awful.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

I am sorry that you have not found therapy helpful. If you want a more affordable alternative and wish to try it again, people have found online therapy to be very helpful especially if they are too depressed to leave the house. This can be a more convenient way of talking to a professional and you never know when one person may find that connection with you and you see a difference. At the very least you do not have to leave you home. Also of major concern is your medication. If you have this level of depression then what you are taking isn't working. Some people feel hopeless and don't follow up with the interaction necessary with your doctor to find real help by making changes. It is often necessary to make numerous changes before any relief is seen.


You have to be honest with your family. Although they may be insensitive to your issues they may not be so if you were totally honest about how depressed you are. They care about you. They are going to care if you feel that hopeless. If you put on a facade they don't know how bad you feel. You have to be your own best advocate and part of that is being honest. Presenting a facade isn't the way to engage them in the solution. Pick up the phone and tell the truth.


As you gain support, begin to educate yourself on the strategies behaviorally to move past depression.


Please press accept; this is the only way I am compensated