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Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Over 15 years exp. Married 30 years and happy.
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Im not sure what kind of psychologist would be best for myself.

Resolved Question:

I'm not sure what kind of psychologist would be best for myself. I have a very dominant personallity and have not treated my ex-wife or my soon to be ex-wife like they deserved. I also now have two children 4 & 6 years old and I find myself yelling at them alot. I am in the process of a divorce so my future ex-wife got primary custody since she does'nt work. I am angry at that decision and don't find it fair due to the fact that she will have to get a job herself or find a sugar daddy. With that being said I believe I am mostly the way I am because of my childhood. My parents got divorced when I was roughly 7 I think. My dad was an alcholic and physically abusive to my mom and his girlfriends after her. Just for the record I have never laid a hand on a women and won't. This is one thing I learned and told myself I would never do. My dad did pretty much everything wrong that he could have as far as being a father. Also for the record he never physically hit me or my sister nor sexually assulted us in any way. His major downfall was drinking and chasing women. My dad and I have a good relationship, one thing we have always done together was he would always take me hunting and fishing. I love my father very much but their is a small part of my heart that hates him for what he put my mother, sister and I through. I chose to live with him because of where he lived in the country. I could go hunting or fishing any time and I loved to do so. Well their is some history for you. I need to learn how to find more patience with my kids. Don't get me wrong my kids love spending time with me but it seemed like when they lived here I would always find an excuse to work on something instead of devoting most of my time with them. I have been somewhat of a workaholic also. I am an excellent provider and make a good living for what was my family. I don't drink or cheat, we had been together for 11 years. The moral of the story is that I am a very strong and independent person because I had to be at a very early age and new how to take care of myself. The bad part is I have a lot of negativity and my wife was affraid it would rub off on the kids as they got older. Probably more info. than you needed but hopefully it's enough to point me in the right direction.
Thanks for the help!!!
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
You have a lot of great qualities. As you go to therapy and work through the healing process your good qualities will get better and your troublesome qualities will improve as well. Marriage number three will be the last one if you can address your pain at the roots and deal with it. I know you are a very strong person (this is obvious from your resolve not to drink, hit women etc. even though this is what your father did). Going to therapy is another sign of your strength. Working through your childhood pain will also help you immensely to become all the parent you desire to be to your children.

Regarding finding the right therapist for you:
You may need to try more than one until you get the right fit.

You need some one who can deal with your childhood pain (this means they have dealt with or are dealing with their own childhood pain). If they want you to change your thoughts and be all better you are in the wrong place. If they want you to deal with the pain of your past by talking, thinking, remembering, processing, feeling, emoting and relearning you are on the right track.

If they seem to have the right balance of tenderness and toughness, thats good.

This could be a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, licensed clinical social worker, etc.

You need to feel it to heal it, and you either heal it or pass it on to the next generation.

I found that over the course of some years I needed more than one therapist (not at the same time). I was so resistant to go to therapy but it turned out to be what I so badly needed to overcome my childhood pain and reach my potential (especially as a husband and father).

Best of success to you and your family.

Let me know if I can be of further assistance.
Sincerely,
Mark Manley

P.S. If I have been helpful in my answer click on 'Accept' or send me an elk steak or both.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

So what kind of therapist would you recommend to start with? what would be the correct professional terminology?

p.s I cant send elk steak but I've got plenty of fresh moose steaks in the freezer.lol

Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
I've never tasted moose but if it is anything like that deep red elk steak, yum! Since I can't give you my address (against the rules) I will settle for you clicking on 'Accept" though the moose would be soooo much better!

Any of the ones I listed above may be able to do the job. All are trained to provide therapy.

"This could be a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, licensed clinical social worker, etc."

In addition to the qualifications listed above, it is imperative that they have been through, or are in their own therapy to deal with their own issues.

Give my your state and nearest metropolitan area and I will get you some names.

Thanks.
Mark
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hey Mark I live in Wasilla Alaska but am close to Eagle River or Anchorage Alaska every day for work, so either one of those 3 will work.
Thanks for the help!!!
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 4 years ago.
I went to the Psychologytoday website listed below and read up on each therapist listed. I listed my three top picks for you. I suggest you copy and paste the url below to go to the website, then read the information provided by each of the therapists listed below. I think all 3 invite e-mail inquiry so you could start by sending them a copy of the top two boxes of our question answer session and ask for their feedback as to their interest in your case and how they might approach it.

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=66183&sid=1325385919.2518_12329&state=AK

Katie FallinPsychologist Associate, LPA
Office
Katie Fallin, M.S., LPA
711 H St., Ste. 400
Anchorage, Alaska 99501
Show map
Contact Information
phone: (907) 278-5049
fax: (907) 278-5171

Claudia BehrClinical Social Work/Therapist , LCSW
Office
3820 Lake Otis Parkway
Suite 200
Anchorage, Alaska 99508
Show map
Visit my website
Contact Information
phone: (907) 334-3378
fax: (907) 646-178

Dr. Peter Strisik Psychologist , PhD
Office
Peter Strisik, PhD
2605 Denali St.
Suite 203
Anchorage, Alaska 99503
Show map
Visit my website
Contact Information
phone: (907) 222-0899

Sound like a good plan to me. I am excited for your progress.
Best of Success to you.

Sincerely,
Mark Manley

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