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Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Over 15 years exp. Married 30 years and happy.
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My husbands sex drive has went from 100 to 0. He says he wants

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My husband's sex drive has went from 100 to 0. He says he wants it, I know he loves me, and we have a wonderful relationship, just no sex. His has went to the dr and his levels are normal.
How long has this been going on?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

About 1 year and 1/2

 

Ok.
When you say 0 you mean literally 0. Never any desire at all.

What happened in his life 1 1/2 years ago.
Job change, death in family, move, kid trouble, ?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

WE got married in April. It started about a year before that. I guess 0 is extreme. It feels like that. We use to have it all the time and it gradually stopped. He says he wants to have sex but doesn't follow thru or I'm not getting his signals. I have never had anyone love me as much as he does, and I know it, but it's like pulling teeth to have sex. I know work is stress ful but he is good about leaving things at work. He actually got me to open up and start talking , communicating about how I feel. Maybe I made him self conscious. Maybe he feels like he can't satisify him.

 

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

WE got married in April. It started about a year before that. I guess 0 is extreme. It feels like that. We use to have it all the time and it gradually stopped. He says he wants to have sex but doesn't follow thru or I'm not getting his signals. I have never had anyone love me as much as he does, and I know it, but it's like pulling teeth to have sex. I know work is stress ful but he is good about leaving things at work. He actually got me to open up and start talking , communicating about how I feel. Maybe I made him self conscious. Maybe he feels like he can't satisify him.

 

We bought a house.

we had his test. and his levels were normal. He tried all the drugs for creating an erection, which he didn't need. He can get an erection but just doesn't have the desire.

more questions?

Do you guys ever have sexual relations with out the expectation of orgasm for one or both of you?

Does he participate in solo sex ie. porn, masturbation? if so how often?

Thanks
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Maybe on my part, I expect something. He always emaculates after sex. He only masturbates when I leave town. Maybe because I expect it and know that I am going to get disappointed I don't push him for it as often anymore. Therefore, we don't have it. I could see that on both parts. He feels like he is going to let me down and I feel like I am going to get nothing out of it so why bother. So sad. How do I boost him up and still feel satisified?

 

You wrote: "He always emaculates after sex." please explain.

Thanks
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Im tired. It's after 1am. He has an orgasm everytime we have sex. (way before me) . It is just to the point, since we don't have it, I don't need it. Crazy. I guess, out of sight out of mind. I think I am ready for bed and can't get my point across clearly. I will again later. but thank you for your time.

 

I am on Pacific Standard Time. Lets finish tomorrow.
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