You love him.
You have children with him.
You don't want to have your children and grandchildren to have to deal with broken and blended family life.
You didn't get married to get divorced.
You don't want to be a failure in your eyes, your children's eyes, your parents eyes etc.
note: (you can have a failed marriage with out being a failure yourself).
You keep hoping he has learned his lesson and has changed.
You are afraid you will end up alone. (doesn't matter if this is rational the fear is real)
You don't want to admit that he is a selfish _________ who doesn't care enough for you and the kids to change. note: (He may not be a selfish __________ who won't change, he may just be sick person who can't change).
You don't want to have the financial loss.
You believe you would be letting him or God or both down by leaving.
You believe it is your job to save him.
You are afraid he will take his life and you and others will blame you.
You believe that if you loved him enough he would change so its your responsibility to learn to love him better.
Do you want me to keep going?
I won't, but I hope you will. See what you can add
to the list.
You have been with him longer than you have not, you put your hopes and your dreams and your life into him and the children you have together, letting go of those dreams is one of the hardest things you will ever do. The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. He has failed. Naturally you don't want to face that and neither does he. You leaving him is the inescapable acknowledgment of his failure as a father and a husband. Deep down everyone knows that with out any one saying it. Off course you don't want to leave him.
I am so sorry.