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I LIVE IN SA FAR FROM IRELAND AND IM HERE ON HOLIDAY YES ITS MY SONS FIRST MARRIAGE I WAS CHATTING TO HIM THIS MORNING REGARDING A TEMPER TANTRUM OVER A CHIP I WANTED TO OFFER A CHILD WHEN HIS WIFE
EXPLODED IN AN AGGRESIVE MANNER TO ME WHILST HE AND I HAD A CHAT
SHE STORMED INTO THE KITCHEN CONFRONTED ME SLAMMED THE DOOR AND LOCKED ME IN THE KITCHEN AND I WANTED TO GO FOR A WALK AS I DIDNT WANT TO GET INTO BATTLE/ I DO REALISE WOMEN ARE JELOUS OF MY
RELATIONSHIP I HAVE HAD WITH MY SON THEY ARE MARRIED FOR TWO YEARS NOW
AND I SELDOM SEE MY SON AS I LIVE FAR AWAY IT MUST BE HARD ON MY SON TOO AS HE WOULD LOVE A TOTAL FAMILY LIFE WITH WIFE MUM AND GRANDCHILD HAPPY FAMILY I SAW HIM AGRESSIVE TO ME TODAY AND WAS SHOVING AND PUSHING ME FROM TRYING TO MAKE AN EXIT FOR THE DOOR TO
GO AND WALK OUTSIDE HE HAS NEVER EVER BEEN AGRESSIVE TO ME AND ALWAYS WAS A NICE SON BUT BECAUSE ITS NOT WORKING OUT HE TOO CANT HANDLE OR MANAGE THIS
AND IM DEEPLY SADDENED TO SAY I WONT BE VISITING AGAIN
dear sir i dont know her behaviour or ways we dont live together hard for me to sum that one up. my son wont ever take my part no matter what he would just want me to be silent nice and take whatever happens and keep smiling
the other daughter in law is trying same tricks i think its a power thing i spoil her spend money on her say nice things to her but will gossip behind my back to the irish one
and im wondering if i should dicuss it with my other son as its so embarassing to our family name which is the best way to handle a jealous daughter in law i really feel like staying away altogether and distance myself from her
my son feels if i love him i must take whatever comes my way. i was locked up in the house all day when they went out ive tried to assure this girl that im no threat and im happy they married it doesnt work please advise me thank you
DEAR MR MANLY
HOW LONG WILL I GET THESE SERVICES FROM YOU
MY OTHER DAUGHTER IN LAW ALSO DID GOSSIPING BEHIND MY BACK TO THE ONE IN IRELAND
I WAS HURT
ANYWAY I TOOK THE BULL BY THE HORNS AND EMAILED HER TO LET HER KNOW IT WAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION ABOUT THE GOSSIPING BEHIND MY BACK AND I FORGIVE HER AND APOLOGISED FOR HER BEHAVIOUR TO THE OTHER DAUGHTER IN LAW
WAS THIS CORRECT WHAT I DID
A BIT OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT HAS HELPED ME CHEER UP THANK YOU
dear mark i wish i knew i only heard that from my son that people including the other daughter in law had spoken to his wife and they a bit afraid to mention more i will do my best to find out more
i told my son clearly that not everyone likes everyone in life some will love me and some wont
im pretty outspoken person which means not everyone will like that however each have to evaluate their own opinion and not be influenced by others he then reminds me that i gave him hidings when he was small i said thats correct as in the country i grew up in it wasnt a sin and it states that in our bible and in the schools there were corporal punishment too
however he now wishes to bring this up at the age of 35 years old what else can i do
its obvious im being gunned in every way
i told him i love him maybe he needs an excuse to end our relationship to please a demanding jealous wife your opinion please charlotte
DEAR MARK THINGS HAVE BEEN HOTTING UP AND I HEARD MY OTHER DAUGHTER IN LAW HAD SPOKEN TO THE ONE IN IRELAND ABOUT THINGS SHE HEARD MY SON SAY TO HER AS HE DOES LOVE TO BAD MOUTH ME FROM THE TIME HE WAS SMALL
I EXPLAINED TO MY IRISH DAUGHTER IN LAW THAT YOU GET THESE THINGS AMOUNST SIBBLINGS WHICH SHE UNDERSTOOD AND EXPLAINED THAT NO PARENT IS PERFECT AND THEY MUST LEARN FROM THEIR PARENTS MISTAKES AND NO ONE LOVES EVERYONE ALL THE TIME
THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMOTIOAL SUPPORT THAT I NEED IN THIS FOREIGHN
COUNTRY ON MY OWN
MY IRISH DAUGHTER IN LAW SAYS SHE WOULD LIKE TO GET ON WITH ME I TOLD HER MAYBE IN TIME WE WILL BE FRIENDS AND I WAS SURE SHE WOULD
EVALUATE FOR HERSELF FROM THE GOSSIP THAT COMES FROM JEALOUSY
AND THE REASONS WHY YOU GET THIS I ALSO EXPLAINED THAT NO FAMILY IS PERFECT AND IM ALSO NOT PERFECT. IT SEEMS WE WON THIS ROUND AS SHE HAS GONE TO BED AND SAID I COULD SLEEP IN THE HOUSE AND NOT IN THE CAR
THE OTHER ISSUES WITH THE OTHER SON AND WIFE ARE STILL TO COME AS WE GO FROM ONE GOSSIPER TO THE NEXT GOSSIPER
THANK YOU IVE CONTINED TO WORK WITH DAUGHTER IN LAW ALSO TOLD HER SHE CHOSE TO MARRY MY SON AND BE PART OF THE FAMILY AND SHE IS AN ITELLECTUALLY SMART GIRL AND THAT WE SHOULD CONTINUE TO HEAR EACH OTHER OUT
I LEAVE TO MORROW AND IM HAPPY TO DO THAT ALSO I TOLD THEM THEY ARE YOUNG AND SHOULDNT WANT A SLOW OLD GRANNY MOVING AROUND WITH THEM
YES I DO FEEL HURT AND I DONT WANT TO BE EXPOSED TO MORE HURT I HAD ENOUGH IN MY LIFETIME WITH MY SONS DAD BEING HI JACKED AND MURDERED ETC ETC NOW I MUST FIND A WAY TO DEAL WITH MY HURT
YOUR ADVICE THANK YOU CHARLOTTE
IM BACK HOME IN SOUTH AFRICA
MY SON CRIED A LOT TAKING ME TO THE AIRPORT AS HE WANTS HIS ONLY PARENT LEFT TO STILL BE PART OF HIS LIFE ,. I WAS SAD I FELT THE HURT AS ITS MY DREAM FOR HIM TOO. MY DAUGHTER IN LAW DOESNT KNOW WHATS IT LIKE TO LOSE A PARENT. MY SONS DAD WAS MURDERED IN A CAR
HI JACK, THEREFORE HE HAS ONLY ONE PARENT,
AND ONLY ONE PARENT TO SHARE HIS PRIDE AND JOY BABY WITH
IVE SINCE KEPT COMMUNICATION GOING WITH DAUGHTER IN LAW MENTIONING SAME WHAT MY SONS DREAMS ARE FOR US AND WHY
SHE IS LUCKY SHE HAS ALL HER FAMILY AND THEY ALL LIVE IN IRELAND WITH HER TOO
IM FAR AWAY. SHE SEEMS TO WANT TO TRY. SAYS NICE THINGS NOW I TOLD
MY SON I DINT WANT HIM IN A POSITION TO MAKE CHOICES AS I LOVED HIM
UNCONDITIONALLY. WITHOUT ULTIMATUMS . AND I WOULD BE THERE WITH OPEN ARMS IF ALIVE. PEOPLE KILL EACHOTHER SUICIDE ETC AND I TOLD MY
DAUGHTER IN LAW SHE WOULDNT WANT TO FIND HERSELF A WIDOW EITHER
AS RECENTLY ONE OF HER RELATIVES COMMITTED SUICIDE NOT A CLOSE RELATIVE. NOT SOMEONE SHE CRIED ABOUT.
AND THAT MY SON IS ALONE ALSO AWAY FROM THE LAND OF HIS BIRTH
SO WE MUST ALL GROW UP,
I DONT NEED A COUNCILLOR AS IM REVERTING BACK TO THE BIBLE
THEY HAVENT STOPPED CONTACTING ME I THINK THEY FEEL A BIT BAD
THANK YOU GOD BLESS AND I WISH YOU A GREAT 2012 MARK KEEP UP THE
GOOD SERVICE FOR PEOPLE THAT GET CAUGHT ALONE LIKE I DID
hello its charlotte they wrote to me from just ans told me my subscription is to the 27/1/2008
so can we continue?
i did email you last night sa time and i im waiting for your answer
DEAR MARKIM BACK HOME AND VERY HAPPY INDEEDI WONT GO BACK TO MY DAUGHTER IN LAWS PLACE EVEN IF SHE IS SWEET AS I SAID SHE IS UNPREDICTABLE AND CAN GET NASTY OUT OF THE BLUEAND I VALUE MY LIFE. MY SON GETS PUT INTO A DIFFICULT SITUATION TOO HE WOULD LIKE ME TO JUST SMILE OFF THINGS AND NOT RETALIATE/I DONT LIKE ABUSE AND I EXPECT THE SAME RESPECT THAT IS GIVEN TO HER PARENTSIM SORRY FOR MY SON AS HE HAS ONLY ONE PARENT LEFT AND A BROTHER AND WE ARE FAR FROM IRELAND. WE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLDSHE HAS HER ENTIRE FAMILY WITH HER IN IRELAND MY SON HAS NO ONE ELSE OTHER THAN HIS WIFE AND CHILD AND HER FAMILY.THE PROBLEM WAS ABOUT A CHIP FOR THE BABY.THE BABY EATS POTATOES EVERYDAY AND I DONT THINK WE NEED TEMPER TANTRUMS OVER A CHIP.SHE EMBARASSED ME IN FRONT OF MY IN LAW FROM MY LATE HUSBANDS SIDEAND I ALSO HAVE FEELINGS.HOW DO I KEEP MY RELATIONSHIP GOING WITH MY SON I THINK SHE WANTS TO DESTROY ITI NEED TO BE VERY CLEVER WITH THIS BUT IM SORRY I CANT JUST SHUT MY MOUTH AND ALLOW THIS.WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?CHARLOTTE
Optional Information: Gender: Female Age: 61 Already Tried: IVE TRIED USING THE BIBLE FOR EACH OF THEM SHE DID APOLOGISE BUT SHE IS UNPREDICTABLE NICE AND THEN GETS BAD MOODS AND JUMPS ON ME FOR NOTHING
YES I HAVE BEEN EMAILING MY SON.
AND MY DAUGHTER IN LAW. IVE ADVISED MY DAUGHTER IN LAW TO GET HELP FROM A THEREPIST TOO.BUT IN A VERY NICE AND MOTHERLY SORT OF WAY.
MARK I DONT THINK I LIKE HER VERY MUCH NOW AND ITS HARD TO CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT HER BUT TO TOLERATE HER, I DID HOWEVER EXPLAIN TO MY SON THAT HE HAS EXPERIENCED CONDITIONAL LOVE AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
I DONT THINK I CAN GO FURTHER WITH THIS DAUGHTER IN LAW ALTHOUGH MY
SON IS HAPPY MARRIED WITH A CHILD SHE DOES NOT REALLY RECOGNISE
HIS FEELINGS VERY MUCH.
HE DID CRY IN THE CAR TO THE AIRPORT SAYING HE DIDNT HAVE A DAD TO SHARE HIS CHILD WITH AND WAS UPSET I WAS LEAVING AND HE WANTED TO
SHARE HIS CHILD ALSO WITH ME.
MY SON NEEDS TO GET THAT INTO HIS WIFES HEAD.
I CANT REALLY ACCEPT HER AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN IRELAND AND FORGET IT MARK.
HOW DO I GO ABOUT IT I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY SON EITHER . I DID ASK HIM
HOW WOULD HE LIKE ME TO RESPOND TO HIS WIFE WHEN SHE GETS AGGRESSIVE WITH ME OUT OF THE BLUE FOR NO REAL REASON AT ALL?
I PUT MY FOOT DOWN IN IRELAND AND TOLD HER IM NO SOFTY LIKE MY SON
TO MESS WITH.
AND EXPLAINED TO MY SON WHO SHOULD I LISTEN TO? TO HIM ? OR HER?
WHAT ARE YOUR SUGGESTIONS MARK?
I CAN SHOW MY ENEMIES LOVE BUT REAL LOVE I CANT FIND IN HER
THATS AN EXCELLENT ONE. IM PAYING A MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION FEE SO I DONT KNOW IF I MUST STILL PRESS ACCEPT THE ANSWER? LET ME KNOW PLEASE.
MY SON SAID IM STILL WELCOME TO COME TO IRELAND AND THERE IS NO ULTIMATUMS.
HE HOPES WE CAN ALL WORK IT OUT AS HE DONT WANT TO GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN.
I EXPLAINED I DONT WANT TO GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN AS WELL.
SIX FLIGHTS IN TEN DAYS WAS ALSO HECTIC FOR ME EVEN YOUNG PEOPLE FEEL IT SO HOW MUST I FEEL? WELL WE HAVE WORKED OUT WHAT I SHOULD
DO . NOW MAYBE THEY SHOULD START WORKING OUT WHAT THEY WILL DO?
I WOULD LIKE TO LET HER KNOW WHEN THEY GOT MARRIED I DIDNT HEAR ULTIMATUMS AT THAT ALTER? HAVE YOU MARK EVER HEARD THAT AT AN ALTER?
I WILL TRY TO DO SOME NICE VIDEOS TO FACINATE THE GRANDCHILD
SHE IS SMALL BUT SHE CAME TO HUG MY LEG WHEN I ARRIVED IN IRELAND
MAYBE IT ALSO WASNT ALLOWED. ANS SHAME SHE WANTED THAT CHIP I
OFFERED HER AND SMILED AND HELD HER HAND OUT.
AND REALLY THATS THE SORT OF FOOD IRISH FANCY?
THE MOTHERS DISORDERLY CONDUCT ANGER WASNT NORMAL AT ALL OVER
A CHIP? SHE IS RUDE ONCEI PUT MY ARM AROUND HER TO APOLOGISE
AT SOMETHING AND SHE PUSHED HER FINGERS IN MY FACE DESCRIBES HER
TO YOU. IM KIND AND GENEROUS WOMEN AND IM GOING TO WITHDRAW FROM THIS TOO.
I SET MY YOUNGSTERS UP THAT MANY YOUNGSTERS ARE SET UP IN LIFE
THE GIRLS COME WITH A SUITCASE OF CLOTHES AND GET CHEEKY TOO.
BYE FOR NOW
I MADE A MISTAKE IN THAT EMAIL.
I MEAN IVE SET MY YOUNGSTERS UP IN IN A STRONG FIANANCIAL WAY AND EDUCATION AND MOST PARENTS WONT DO HALF THE THINGS IVE DONE FOR
MY KIDS. THESE WOMEN COME WITH A SUITCASE OF CLOTHES AND GET RUDE
AND CHEEKY TOO.
thank you for the quick reply.
i did email my daughter in law and will to my son as well sugesting what you said to me
i never said it was your idea at all.
i sugested that we just do videos and email and skype . i would be interested in their response?
maybe i can show them my amas tree and they can show me theirs? it seems they will have to spend xmas with only his wifes family and everyday of the year.
if the wife cant even tolerate her husbands family for a short time of the year ? then i dont know. i live in south africa and thats thousands of miles from ireland.
only the future will tell. lets hope she can grow up fast before its too late.
as far as trusting the situation again im sure this is not possible.
she has apologised to me but the damage is done mark. im sure it will make her very happy that she dont have to share the child or my son with me anymore. what would you do
with a wife like that?charlotte
dear mark thank you for your reply.i dont know if you will get that email as i just wrote at the bottom of the page you wrote to me be fore looking at this.anyway here goes are you a phycologist mark? my youngest son in south africa is concerned apparently that i might have bypolar i asked him why?he said because i have ups and downs i do know i have ups and downs but after examining facts on bypolar i thought some of the things were crazy. how can one check out if one has bypolar to put my sons mind at rest? thank you charlotte/?
Optional Information: Gender: Female Age: 63 years Already Tried: i havent tried to ask this question before
THANK YOU IVE BEEN ADVERTISING YOUR BUS TO DAY IN MY SMALL HAIR BUSINESS I RUN.IVE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT YOU, AND THEY WANT THE EMAIL ADDRESS. I DONT BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE BYPOLAR AT ALL WITH
ALL I HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE,. THE UPS AND DOWNS ARE FROM KIDS.AND THEY NEVER GROW UP. JUST WHEN I THINK I HAVE GROWN UP MEN IN MY
LIFE IT WAS JUST A DREAM. ANYWAY DREAMS ARE NICE TOO.
I SERIOUSLY SHOULD ADOPT CHILDREN I LIKE.AT THIS PRESENT TIME.
BACK HOME MY CLIENTS TELL ME THEY REMEMBER HOW CHEEKY THEY
WERE TO ME. AND THEY HAVENT CHANGED.
ITS STILL THE SAME. THANK YOU I WILL GO TO MY DOCTOR WHO WILL TELL
ME TO GET RID OF THEM. AND ALSO JUST SEE THEM ALL IN A DISTANCE
AS YOU RECOMMENDED. IM PLANNING TO MAKE THE VIDEO YOU SUGGESTED FOR THE GRANDCHILD WITH MY CLIENTS IN THE SALON
AND SOME HAIR DOS AND SOME TOYS ETC TO SHOW THE GRANDCHILD
THAT SHE DOES HAVE A GRANNY IN SOUTH AFRICA THAT WILL REALLY
EXCITE MY DAUGHTER IN LAW A LOT.
WE TALKED ABOUT YOUR IDEA TO DAY IN THE SALON AND IM SURE MY CLIENTS WILL ALSO PARTICIPATE IN THE VIDEO.
I SEE YOU A FAMILY THERAPIST AND MARRIAGE COUNCILLOR?
I THINK MY SON AND HIS WIFE SHOULD DEAL WITH YOU
IM NOT MARRIED AND I DONT HAVE MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
IM SINGLE AND ENJOY MY LIFE A LOT WITHOUT THIER MARRIAGE PROBLEMS