can i just ask you a question because now my grandmother is pouring over the phone saying that "if he was so intrested why hasn't he tryed to contact you? my answer was just that it said on the note if you needed a promo... so he thinks he need some thing to promote to do it.! and i try to take it with a grain of salt but how do i do that? and she just don't back down she was the same way to my mother but how can i take what she say with a grain of salt? it's starting to get hard she won't quit
im really sorry about this but i need some help to handle here i'm starting to get tired of hearing about all the negativity and that every thing in the world is wrong. and if people don't wait for here it's wrong and it's noting wrong by lighting the fire place when your house is filled with paper even if you tell here that. she responds : no i'm experienced with lighting the fire place.
i just don't know how to escape this?
and i wanted to write just to you this time so the other one get's some peace
i'm sorry with what i said about grandmother here and now but i felt pretty good
It's hard to shut out hurtful words. It can cut to your core and make you question everything you do. When you are confronted with someone who will not stop saying hurtful things, changing their behavior is usually too hard. They either do not see they are being hurtful or they want to be hurtful. When someone choose to hurt others, they are usually hurt themselves and take it out on others. Because hurting others serves a purpose for them, they usually are not motivated to change.
Since she won't change, that only leaves how you will respond. Letting her talk and trying to reason with her so far has not worked. She is getting something out of expressing her opinion to you. It sounds like this is rewarding to her. Instead you may want to avoid the subject all together. Try changing the subject when she brings it up. As soon as she says anything about him or the situation, change the topic to something else. If she will not drop it, tell her you need to go and hang up. Do this every time she brings it up.
You can also tell her that you will not discuss it again. She may be offended, but your opinion is just as important as hers, and maybe even more so since this is your situation and your life. Each time she brings the topic up, repeat the same thing to her. It may seem odd to repeat yourself, but so is her behavior with consistently bringing the topic up. By repeating yourself, you take the juice out of her and forcing the topic to die. You want to make it hard for her to bring up without seeming pushy. Trying one or both of these things should shut her down and make it so you do not have to accept her interference.
thank you i will try to repeat my self. i have tryed changing topic but i have not tried to repeat myself. thank you so much again . i will try to repeat and she is just gonna say how mean i'm to here. but i could not care about it since i'm sure that's not true
You're welcome! I know this is not easy to do. It feels like you are being mean to her. But often people who insist on hurting you need to know that there are boundaries. And the only way to set them is to gently, but firmly, set those boundaries. Eventually, she will back off. It may just take some time.
I just wanted to let you know that i got to try this out today and i think it worked because when she started i said i oh i got to go to the bathroom abd then she got weakened in her voice.
I'm gonna continue. Remember she implied he was gay but then i said if he was gay then i would have to be a male... Because gays would not do that to me if they were gay. Am i right? because i find it hard to believe that he is gay when he looked at my back part and said sh*t... If he was
I am so glad that it worked! I wonder if she is just acting like a bully. When you confront bullies, they often back down because they are really scared inside.
I think your grandmother suggesting he is gay is just a way for her to hurt you. She may be implying that he would not be interested in you otherwise, which is a mean thing to say. It sounds like she could also be implying that he is gay because she is projecting her own insecurities on you. She may feel she is not attractive or she was rejected in the past by someone she loved. She may feel insecure about herself as a result and feels threatened by this man's interest in you. So she tries to undermine your good feelings so she can feel better about herself.
If this man were gay, he would not show the kind of interest in you that he did. You would be able to tell the difference because you would have gotten a different kind of impression from him. It probably would have felt more like a friend or even girlfriend talking with you instead of the feeling you did get, which was feeling that he cared for you heterosexual way.
It's hard to tune out someone's criticism, especially when it hurts and makes you question what you are feeling and seeing. But trust in your own gut. When you feel one thing and someone tries to convince you otherwise, go with your own feeling. You know what you heard and saw when you were with this man. Your grandmother did not. She is only using the situation to hurt you.
I don't think that you have moved on from wanting to be in the relationship. But instead, your recent letter to him has affected how you feel in some ways:
One, you took some control and made a move. This helped you move from the situation being totally in your mind to real in your mind.
Two, your letter grounded you. You may a connection with him and no matter how it turns out, you tried.
Three, your letter was an expression of your feelings and getting those out there to him helped you express what you have kept bottled up for a long time.
Basically, you have stepped up to the plate and now you are ready, after months of preparation and thinking about your actions. For many people, taking action can reduce those previous jitters and butterflies in the stomach to a calmness and centerness because they feel they are finally able to do something with all the feelings they have had for so long.
You may also be moving away a little just to give yourself some space from whatever response he has to your letter. Like preparing yourself in a way. Sitting back and waiting. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a very human reaction to a situation like this and one that most people do. I think you still are very interested in the relationship and very hopeful that it will become something wonderful for the two of you.
He is probably where you are. He may be thinking of you as much as you are of him, or he could think of you when he sees things that remind him of you. If he has your letter by now, I am sure he is thinking of you a lot.
I understand your fear of his reaction. It is very normal to feel that way. Everyone does when they take a risk and put their feelings out there. I would feel that way too. And what your grandmother said to you would naturally be in the front of your mind because it supports you being rejected, which you fear. Anytime we fear something, we think of things that would support that fear. But you have just as much chance of having him respond in a positive way than in a negative.
Given your description of him, I doubt he would purposely hurt you. If he did not feel the same feelings (a remote chance) then he would most likely be very kind about it. But if he did feel as you do, then he may be shy about it or he may have no problem telling you how he feels.
Try to think positively as you can. If it helps, whenever you hear that voice of doubt in your mind, tell it to go away. Get mad if you have to. Feeling like this is all going to fail does not make it so, nor does it help with the pain if it does. So thinking good thoughts will help you feel less fearful and more positive.
I'm here if you need to talk more,
yeah i think your right that was my thoughts to. if i was there i would think alot.
no matter how this turns out i have now been a little good to myself and got a new cell phone i instantly wanted because of the good design. so i have treated my self a little :) needed to self medicate a little after my monthes of wonder. and listeningt to what my heart says and wich was the same as what you two said. and going in and out of the "hunted house" with my grandmother . it's been a very special time at least like he said to me riht before i lest the night before. when i asked him if he had checked out the info i gave him on the note. he said "not yet i'm trying i'm trying but thank you anyways because now i know how to that i was lost and didn't know how to that but now i know how to do that... at least.... "in a low tone. it's been special and strange journy. just without traveling around the world but i did have you two to assist me
I'm glad to hear that you were good to yourself! What a great way to handle all the stress. Listening to your heart is important. You are in the front seat of the situation and know better than anyone what has gone on. And no matter what happens, you have handled it all so well.
I agree with you. This is a great insight you have about the relationship and yourself. If you are feeling that you are moving on from this relationship, then follow those feelings.
You have done everything possible to be in the relationship. You have been respectful of his feelings, wrote a very nice and kind letter to him and you have held on to see if there was anything to how you (and maybe he) felt. You have opened yourself up and felt such strong love. And if nothing was to come of it, then that may be what God wanted you to see. You are capable of great love and very deep love. I can tell that just based on how you express yourself and the love you express for him in just our contact. This means that there is some very blessed man out there who is going to get to be a recipient of your attention!
I admire how you have handled this relationship. I have no doubt you will be just fine.
Thank you so much for these words. Still feels wrong to look but i think maybe that's what i was gonna learn. Already found a profile i liked a good liking man not that i look at apperans but what he wrote in his profile was amazing. Kind of started to like him a little think I'm gonna write to him :-) looked and got an impression of that he was a nice man. Think I'm gonna try :-)
I am glad to hear that! You have really gone through quite an experience and it is amazing how you took what you went through and learned from it. Not many people can do that. I am happy for you.
I hope this new guy works out. He sounds nice. Let me know what happens!
hi there i wanted to write to you since you kind of know me a little. do you have any advice or techniques for me to get a relief of grief? now i just feel hopeless i can't look at Los Angeles at all. even though i get alot of comment's that make me smile. i feel hopeless. and when i lock my eye's i see the last thing i saw about him. and hear his voice. i really much want Los Angeles to be Los Angeles again. but it's weird to look at the live shots and news from there. i found someone who seems to like me he makes me smile nice italian man at 29. really good looking to. i have taken away the picture. and i don't know what more to do that's how hopless i em. almost don't know what to write. i feel i have started to "kill it" but how can i kill what my heart says? it just keeps saying it's not over yet. your going in the wrong direction. that's not how it's gonna end.
how can i kill this? i just feel hopeless. and i feel kind of ugly even though i get alot of hints to the opposite. can you give me some advice?
It is very normal to grieve after a loss. And it is natural that you associate the city to the relationship you thought you might have. Any time you have a relationship that goes bad, there are going to be associations that remind you of what happened.
The most important thing to remember is that your feelings about the city are probably the feelings you have for the love you thought might have been. The city itself has not changed, it is the relationship that made it all appear different. Before the relationship, the city was just a city to you. But since then, the relationship changed everything. So it is the relationship that is your real focus.
Focus on how you feel about what happened. Allow yourself to feel the grief. It doesn't feel good and it's hard to cope with, but moving through grief is the best way to get over it for good.
Learn what you can about the grieving process. The more you know, the better equipped you are to help yourself through this. Here are some resources to help:
Get as much support as possible. Friends, family and even support groups can help you get through. Talk about how you feel and if you like to write, start a journal. This will help you see your healing process and make you feel better.
Also, write a letter to him. Don't send it but just write about how you feel. Don't hold back. Keep the letter and add to it. Then when you feel ready to move on, tear the letter up or burn it. It can signal the end of the relationship for you.
Hello, it's good to hear from you!
That is great news! You sound very happy. Sometimes it takes something difficult and trying to help us see new things about ourselves. It also helps to know that we can survive a bad time and come out feeling even better than before, which you might never think possible unless you go through it like you did.
Your new man sounds wonderful and you seem very content. I am glad you let me know how you are doing. It makes me feel good to know that you are happy and on a good path.
My best to both of you. You deserve to be happy after all you have been through.
you see when i was at the post office. i checked and they had not any record of sending a letter to the U.S. at that time. and i know he would respond anyway good or bad. i have managed to seperate him from the city and can look at it again and feel joy. but i still have the pictures of him. and still smile when i look at it. but now i don't know what to do because this italien man likes me alot. i tested him by having a "sexy" picture on my profile for one day and he got jealous and when i said to him yesterday i would love to have someone to travel with. the next day. today he searched up plane tickets.. so i know he likes me and is always calling me beautiful and that i em an amazing person. and what's ironic with his name "max" is that that is nick's brothers name. so i can't really escape him.pluss all the indian things i see. i like max. but my heart is still with nick. and i don't know since he never got the letter if i should retry to send it.
what should i do? :/
think nick is having problems
and i have now checked the latest reviews of where he works and he doesn't seem happy getting coments of being ruthless and rude and i know it's not max they are talking about he was always happy. but i dont believe it about nick either. but they specified 1 person at the reseption
+ this. i do believe he has some problems and it's hard for me to read i kinde of feel the need to go there to find out what's wrong.
"The "owner/manager" raised his fist at me as if he was about to strike me!!! this is a first for me... " "Cancelled a reservation two days prior to reservation date and was told by gentleman with east indian accent that the room was cancelled. Then a charge appeared on credit card. We contested and it was recommended that we call the hotel and see if we could resolve the charge. The same gentleman went crazy and screamed that no cancellation had been made. As mentioned, we were Cheated and swindled"
what can i do in this situation? that his name is XXXXX XXXXX easy
It sounds like Nick might be having problems. He may have been very nice to you and did not show you this angry side. Sometimes people will hide parts of themselves they don't want others to see and unless you get to know them very well, you don't see it. Those reviews do not bode well for how XXXXX XXXXXdles his work and treats other people. And there isn't just one which you could probably dismiss as a disgruntled customer. There are several which means Nick might be showing his other side.
If you go to see Nick, Max probably won't be ok with the situation so going does put your current relationship in jeopardy. Sending a letter is safer, but if Max finds out it may hurt your relationship. Also, Nick could tell you anything he wants in a letter. You still won't be sure he is ok or not.
It's hard to make a decision in this case. But the facts you have do point to Nick having anger issues and not being the person he appeared to be with you. Also, if you leave you risk losing Max. But if you don't go, are you ok with letting Nick go? I suspect you may still be in mourning over the loss of the relationship and that is why you want to try to resolve how you feel by seeing Nick. But the consequences could be a lost relationship with Max. You may want to try to list pros and cons and see how you feel about what you see. Also, if you give this time, you may find that your feelings pass. To help yourself, try to stop looking at Nick's site and any other information on him. By seeing these things, you are just bringing your pain back up again.
Ending a relationship is never easy. But in this case, you might be better off trying to deal with the reminders of Nick until your feelings pass. You have a good relationship with Max and he sounds like he loves you and wants to make you happy. Until you are sure you don't want to be with Max, you may want to try to let Nick go.
Yes kate i still feel for him. And i think you are absolutely right. Max like me and he wants to move to my city to. And i hope this with nick will end soon. I just got worried about him if he have some problems or things he can't deal with. But if my feelings pass. And i go to Los Angeles with max and bump in to him is it all gonna go up in flames again i mean getting feeling back? Max make me feel wonderful. And i like him alot. He is the one i can starve for his attention. I'm planning to leave for Los Angeles in august just like last time. But can i get feelings for him again if i bump in to him if i travel with max?
It's going to take some effort to get over Nick but you can do it. Try thinking of what you read about him, think of what is good about your current relationship, and try thinking of your feelings for Nick as in the past. When you think of him, think something like "so what". The idea is to condition yourself against the relationship with Nick while celebrating the relationship with Max. Also, practice how you would react if you did see him. Keep your reaction to a minimum and plan on just saying "Hi" but only if you have to. That should help you begin to work on getting over him and moving on.
Ok thank you. Yeah i think max is more right for me already. The best part is that he doesn't only think of one thing . And he always make me feel better. The reviews just prove that he is an actor and I'm done with people like that. I want to be with some one balanced and faithful and i think i found that i max. Thank you kate for your advice. :-)
You're welcome! Max sounds like he loves you and he seems like a great guy.
My best to you both,
my dear friend kate i feel i have reached rock bottom. i'm just so afraid of how my life is gonna turn out that i today snaped. i didn't get any peace even though i said to my mother that i needed some peace and quiet. and she didn't listen to me. and i snaped and i looked her in the eye and said be quiet. you are playing with fire. and she didn't stop so i looked at her and i told here look i'm not afraid of dying anymore so if you don't shut up i will shot myself in the head. and i'm not joking..
everyday i walk around in pain. because i feel i can't live without him. i'm suffering so hard that just a moment ago i said to god please kill me never make me wake up again.
everyday is so unclear and unpredictable i went to a psychic both friday and saturday. she just told my what i knew. and ended by saying you have nothing to worrie about in the feature. but still i feel like i'm dying so hard. i'm suffering so bad i scream everyday. and i don't know what to do.
i'm just so scared and don't know what to do or were to turn. i'm afraid kate. and i don't know what to do. i'm so lost. what can i do? i feel like i'm going insane
What has happened since we last talked? Where is Max?
It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed with your grief over the relationship. At this point, you may need to consider resolving how you feel either through therapy or by seeing Nick and addressing your feelings that way. Therapy would be the healthier way to address why you are feeling this way. Do you feel you might be able to see someone?
Your mother coming at you the way she did over the weekend could not have helped. You do need to have space to deal with how you feel and do not need your boundaries crossed, especially when you specifically ask to be left alone. Is there a place you can go for a while until you feel better?
Also, try to help yourself by expressing your feelings as much as you can to those you trust. You can also write out your feelings so you can see them on paper and re read them as you need to. Writing helps pinpoint your feelings and resolve them.
Be sure you are taking care of yourself. Regular healthy meals, plenty of rest and down time are all important.
If you can, see your regular doctor for medication if you feel you need it. Sometimes medication can help reduce your symptoms so you can think more clearly and resolve your issues better.
Having no where else to go makes it very hard on you. How about a weekend away somewhere? Could you stay with a friend or maybe even a hotel for a night? It might give you a chance to clear your mind and think things through.
Let me know how you are doing. I'm here if you need to talk.
hi there. i just wanted to share with you that today my grandmother told me to watch a movie. and i suddently realized what she meant.
from tomorrow i'm gonna start writing down how i feel
and what was so amazing that my mind can't forgett
and i realized what she meant about the letters
she told me to watch a movie called "the note book"
just finished watching and when i was watching i came to realize that i had watched it before maybe years ago. but never cried several times or even one time of that movie before.
but now i know what she mean by the letters and what you mean about writing things down. so i'm gonna write down what my mind can't forget and how an why i feel this way.
thank you that's what i wanted to share
It sounds like you had a great insight today. Writing emotions down can make a big difference in how you process what you feel. It gives you the opportunity to re read what you wrote and think about how to word your feelings, giving you a chance at expressing yourself better.
And by writing, you can get these feelings out and express them in a healthy way. It also allows you to access another part of your brain when you express yourself as opposed to when you just talk. In women, it allows them to access both sides of the brain, rational and emotive which is more beneficial to you when coping with your emotions. So writing is a wonderful way to express yourself.
I hope the writing goes well and you discover new sides to how you feel and are able to resolve the issues you want to deal with.
Thank you for sharing your childhood with me. I appreciate your trust in me.
It sounds like you lived through a horrific time during your childhood. You were traumatized by being exposed to adult situations like sex and death while you were just a child. Children who are exposed to such things before the are developmentally ready to understand them often react with Post Traumatic Symptoms. As you grew up, your hurt and pain from the trauma you went through developed into anger, which is a way to not only express how you felt, but anger helps you protect yourself. Few people are going to want to try to hurt you if you are angry to the point of explosive with your words and actions. So anger creates a barrier around you to protect you. Drinking and using drugs are another way to cover the pain.
You can help yourself by talking about what you went through with those you trust. Therapy is another way to express how you feel and work through the trauma. Also, learning more about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can help you help yourself. Here are some resources to get you started:
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Mary Beth Williams
The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth by Glenn R. Schiraldi
You may also want to consider self help groups either in person or on line. Here is a link for you:
I am glad you told me what happened to you. Talking about what you experienced can make a big difference in your healing from the trauma you went through.
Hi, it's good to talk with you.
Congratulations on getting your first apartment! Living by yourself can feel so freeing and give you a confidence you may not have experienced before.
It's ok to listen to your heart. It is sometimes the only way to know how to handle a situation. But if you feel you made a wrong decision or did not listen when you should have, try not to feel bad about it, especially if you cannot fix it. It is part of learning who you are and what you need. This experience may not have let you get what you wanted, but next time you will be able to use what you learned to make a better decision.
Growing closer to God can help you feel better. Not only does the relationship help you feel less alone, God can provide a comfort that no person can. You can pray for guidance and let God work in your life to help you find happiness and fulfillment. Getting closer to God can be a matter of listening to spiritual music, reading the Bible, or just saying a pray asking God for help. Each little step you take can make a big difference.
If you are having nightmares and crying each night, you may need to talk to a therapist face to face. Your symptoms can mean that you feel traumatized or depressed. Talking about your feelings can help a lot. And if you feel you need help right away, medications can take the edge off the symptoms until you feel therapy is helping. Also, try journaling. Writing out your feelings is a great way to express how you feel. Be sure to take care of yourself as well. Eat well and get a lot of rest. A poor diet and little sleep can magnify any symptoms you have and make you feel a lot worse.
That is good! I think it will help a lot.
Da:) I have no credit in my phone and yesterday i went to sleep very early:( We speak later:)))
and we didn't speak because of . yeah.
but yester day after i wrote have a good day at work :-*
he wrote thank you :) the same to you :) enjoy the sun. enjoy bella.
the day before that he wrote me and skype called me we talked and he blow kisses to me.
it's just yesterday who confuse me a little because when i talked to him (wrote him) on skype he signed off :s and that's after he wrote thank you :) the same to you :) enjoy the sun. ciao bella
the sunday he called me amore mio..
and the last two days i know he has been tired.
and he liked my status on facebook that he was coming to me. 2 on 1'st
em i reading it wrong? is there something wrong? consideering he signed of.
my friend says i have nothing to worrie about.
It sounds like he likes you a lot! But it could be that he is not yet ready to make a full commitment, not because of you, but because of him. He sounds a little immature in his actions, and that may account for how he is acting.
In a committed relationship, the focus is on the other partner. So much like you are with him, he would be just as focused on you. Some of his behavior is confusing and the messages are tough to interpret. That is most likely due to his own issues about relationships.
Talk with him about your concerns. Let him know what you want from him. Do this in a firm but gentle way. Communication is the best way to keep your relationship working and to address any issues that happen. If he listens to you and tries to improve, then you know he is committed. If he does not, he may need more time before he is ready to commit fully. That does not mean he doesn't love you, just that he has issues that are interfering with his ability to be fully in the relationship and put himself behind.
It sounds like you did just fine. He needs to know how you feel about his behavior, especially you both are in an exclusive relationship with each other and he does something that bothers you.
What you did was exactly what I meant about communicating. Telling him what you feel is important. He needs to accept that and be just as open with you. That is what makes a relationship healthy.
From his reaction, he seemed to. See how he acts when you see him next and if his behavior improves. That will tell you.
You're welcome! I'm here to help, anytime.
Enjoy your weekend too!
It depends on the website he is on. If he is talking to other women or doing anything that can be considered cheating, then there is reason for you to feel as you do. But if it's just a general website and there are no indications he is doing anything wrong, then it may be that you feel insecure based on your past experiences.If there is no reason to mistrust him, then dealing with your own feelings is important. You do not want to jeopardize your relationship based on your past feelings. One of the best things to do is to recognize that you feel insecure based on your feelings and not what your boyfriend is doing. Building your ability to trust comes with time. Take your relationship slowly. By moving too fast, you can feel out of control. Also, learn more about insecurity and trust issues. Here are some sites to help:http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-trust-issues.htmlhttp://ezinearticles.com/?10-Crucial-and-Surprising-Steps-to-Build-Trust-in-a-Relationship&id=2136By learning about trust and insecurity, you can know what to look for in yourself and in him.Kate
Hello! It's nice to talk with you again.
It sounds like you are scared and he is scared. He may be picking up on your insecurity and that is what triggers his own.
From what you describe with his behavior, it sounds like he really cares for you a lot. He touches you, hugs you and makes time to be with you. That is the body language of someone who cares a lot. He is also insecure about your relationship which means he cares. He would not show these things if he did not love you. He would instead not touch you or want to spend time with you. If you made the comment about the picture, he would have ignored it. So he is showing you all of the signs that he really cares and wants to be with you.
What will help is the both of you talking to each other. One of you has to take the risk and say what you really feel and share it. I would talk with him and tell him that you want to be with him. Let him know that you care about him and only him. Then see what he says. It is a risk, but from what you said, it sounds like both of you have a wonderful relationship and that you care deeply for each other. Only your fears, and his, stand in the way.
You may just have to start by saying that you care for him very deeply. Then let him respond. The two of you may need to do this together and share at the same time.
I am always happy to talk with you!
hi kate. now i don't know what to do. i'm starting to wonder if this is a reletionship or not. he now posted on this dating site that he is looking to rent a room with someone (rent a room in some girls house) what should i do?
i today opend up completaly. told him that i have been missing him when he was gone in a child hood friends wedding this week. that i wish i was with him now. wel the last one i got a respond to. quote " oh sweetheart" but the missing part? no responds
i mean we have been to gether like this i spent a week with him a week home a week with him and so on. what should i do? this bothers me and makes me question that he love me. and that we even have a relationship what can i do? i'm starting to get desperate. i allmost asked out another man... i'm afraid because this post threathens me. but i love him and care fore him deepely
I am sorry that this has happened. It still can mean nothing. It depends on his reaction to what you say to him.
The part about him looking for a roommate in another girl's home is a little unsettling. It could mean anything though. Many people live in close quarters and never do anything but be polite to each other. As long as his roommate is male, then it's probably fine.
His response to your text is not really forthcoming. That needs to be clarified. The fact that the two of you are still with each other so much helps. He would be pulling away if things were bad. But at this point you do need to clarify things with him. By communicating face to face you can find out not only what he has to say but what his reaction is physically. If he makes eye contact, if he seems honest, etc. Tell him how you feel and let him explain. That will tell you a lot.
if this had happend to you what would you think?
should i date another man? i mean just give up.
i'm really afraid of my feelings
any tequnics i can use on him?
how can i tell a lie from the truth?
sorry for all the questions but i'm dying i mean drowning
A lot depends on what you feel. You have to trust your gut feeling. If he seems to be avoiding answering your questions, won't look you in the eye, backs off being with you and offers excuses those are usually signs that something is wrong. It doesn't mean he wants to break up, but it is a sign that some action needs taken.
Other than that, if he doesn't show these signs that it could be that you feel insecure and that is making you feel bad about things. If you feel that is the problem, then therapy may help you find out why you feel as you do and help you cope with it so it doesn't interfere in your relationship. I would not give up. You deserve to have a good relationship. It is just a matter of finding out why you feel this way (whether it is you or him causing it) and resolving it.
Definitely! Let me know how it goes. I hope you sleep very well tonight! :)