It sounds like your son has had a host of problems and you are seeking reasonable explanations. This leads you to concern yourself with possible explanations that may or may not have anything to do with you. You should focus on his recovery as opposed to the rational explanations. These are questionable at best and it takes the focus off of his well being. He needs you and the reason for his ordeal is not as important as the emotional and physical toll it is taking on him. If you find that you are struggling with how to deal with this both of you have therapy available to you. You can also contact any advocacy groups for support as well. Headaches can be a symptom of stress and this can effect your exchanges with him as well. When you focus on the reason you can experience more guilt then you would if you were focused on his recovery. I would see a physician yourself if you feel that your headaches are not stress related and see a therapist to have the support you need. Also encourage him to do the same. The mental obstacles are present long after the physical ones.
Please press accept; this is the only way I am compensated