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Hello are you available to chat about your questoion
Yes, how are you
I am doing great but I am concerned about your situation
so am i =/
I don't know how to figure it out
I don't have a crystal ball but from what you are saying I can see why you are concerned
Yes, i'm very concerned because i don't want to make a mistake
I don't know if how i feel is normal
My two biggest concerns are your age when you began the relationship and your lack feeling in love at the moment
exactly...i wonder if somewhere inside my mind im thinking that i didn't enjoy my life enough or that i could have done more. Not to mention, 2 of the years we've been together were long distance
You need to go so slow. Put the wedding back and tell him the truth about why you want to put it back. Also you have to get married only because of love not because you fear being alone (at least that's according to my value system you have to know and live by your own value system).
I was thinking about that, maybe postponing it will help...but how will i figure out my feelings...
You don't want to hear this but, you will probably need some alone time (out of the relationship) to figure out your feelings. This may include making yourself available to do some dating of other men. If this marriage is meant to be it will survive a period of separation you will not be the first couple who has gone through such a thing and come out stronger for it whether that means together or separately.
Okay, thank you so much for your help. I do have to ask though, do you think this is normal for someone in my position, given our relationship to feel this way? could it just be cold feet?
Your whole life is a long time not to be sure of your decision. Conversely your whole life is a long time to be sure about the decision you made. Meaning when you know you did the right thing it helps you get through the tough times that come to all couples through the years.
Thank you.... i somehow still feel lost
Regarding: is it just a normal thing to go through i.e. cold feet? I don't see this as just cold feet, because of the length of time the two of you have been together and because you were so young when you got together. I see this more as you needing to know yourself better before you give yourself to another.
I think you feel lost because you are asking some soul searching questions at this time not just going along with the program. The answers to those questions are not easy to find and it's normal to feel lost while you are searching. Every thing you have been assuming about your life and your relationship is being questioned by you right now and that is so uncomfortable and feels so out of control and ungrounded.
That gives me a lot more clarity, just being able to understand my situation a little better. I can't thank you enough. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision.
What you are passing through is healthy but very uncomfortable, the good thing is if you give yourself some time and space to go through the process of questioning, searching and discovering eventually you will feel and be better.
thank you soo much. You've given me really good advice and i already feel a little bit better about facing this.
Try to have confidence that you must be attractive if have attracted what sounds to be a pretty great guy and kept him around so long. If so you are attractive (and I am sure you are in many ways) then he will be around or you will find someone even better suited to you. BELIEVE
Best of success to you
Thank you so so very much! I hope you have an a wonderful holiday and a blessed new year, thank you once again!
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