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MN Psychiatrist
MN Psychiatrist, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 792
Experience:  Physician for 17 years, adult psychiatrist for 13 years working with a wide variety of patients.
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MN Psychiatrist Another Question! I spoke with you earlier

Customer Question

MN Psychiatrist Another Question!

I spoke with you earlier about my sexual performance anxiety. I was wondering if you had any advice, the girl has invited me over for the night during my road trip passing by through her parents home. She made it pretty clear what's going to happen. Weve been fooling around more then before and my ability to sustain an erection has improved but whenever it gets closer and I start to think about sex and intercourse it goes down hill. Any advice for now?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 2 years ago.
Hello, again.
I just saw your question and I'm not able to answer it at length right now, but I will address in the morning.

Meanwhile, it sounds like things are going pretty well, for you relationship-wise, at least aside from the sexual part. Could you tell me more about how other elements of the relationship are going? Are you going out together a lot? How is she reacting to you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Well things are great, we hang out, we talk, we miss each other like crazy, we joke around about silly stuff. I think Im not fair to myself there were a couple times were i was really hard and wanted to go complete the act, but she said no and I respected that. It feels like the pressure is a lot sometimes though. Especially when those moments of doubt creep in because of other people.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Well things are great, we hang out, we talk, we miss each other like crazy, we joke around about silly stuff. We talk about our careers, places we want to visit, were making plans for the future. Im head over heels for this girl. And my feelings toward porn are not what they used to be, I don't feel so reliant on them anymore. I think Im not fair to myself there were a couple times were i was really hard and wanted to go complete the act, but she said no and I respected that. It feels like the pressure is a lot sometimes though. Especially when those moments of doubt creep in because of other people.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Well things are great, we hang out, we talk, we miss each other like crazy, we joke around about silly stuff. We talk about our careers, places we want to visit, were making plans for the future. Im head over heels for this girl. And my feelings toward porn are not what they used to be, I don't feel so reliant on them anymore. I think Im, not fair to myself, there were a couple times were i was really hard and wanted to have sex but she said no and I respected that. It feels like the pressure is a lot sometimes though. Especially when those moments of doubt creep in because of other people. Im so attracted to her, im always a moment notice from being aroused, I think its just going to take a little more time and thats coming along quite well.
But I could use some advice or insight?
Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 2 years ago.
I'm glad that things are going well. It sounds like you are on the right track.
How does she feel about you? How does she act towards you? What kinds of feelings towards you does she seem to have?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She's caring, she tells me she likes me, she's attracted to me and I to her, she's always calling me and wanting to talk and visit which i like.
Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 2 years ago.
Excellent.

Isn't this a relief? Understandably, you were worried about this very special woman, and if things will work out with her. You also asked about the pornography, yet with the healthy replacement of it with your time with her, your interest in it has diminished. Things are definitely looking good, from what you've shared.

Remember: All you have to do is enjoy her, let her know that you do, and keep her laughing, while being yourself. When she's down - if she gets down - hold her, gently but securely. Support her involvement with what's important to her, and you will benefit yourself more than you can imagine.

You did great by showing her respect when she told you "no."
Doing that increased her respect for you, and probably more than you might imagine.

Just enjoy yourselves right now. Lovemaking will happen. When it does, if it's not earth-shattering sex, don't even worry about it. It's usually not; often, the first time with someone it's awkward, despite what movies portray. You just enjoy yourselves, and help her to enjoy herself, and you will cement the foundation blocks of your relationship.
MN Psychiatrist, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 792
Experience: Physician for 17 years, adult psychiatrist for 13 years working with a wide variety of patients.
MN Psychiatrist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your response, just so your aware, it wouldn't be my first time having sex. I had a girlfriend for a year and a half when I was 17/18....ill do what you recommend thank you for your response.
Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 2 years ago.
Sounds good. Take care and keep me posted if you have more questions.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
You are the man! Or Women, your advice is spot on! Things are going so well! Thank you!
Expert:  MN Psychiatrist replied 2 years ago.
You're very welcome!

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