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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My husband watches teen porn and young teen girls videos

Customer Question

My husband watches teen porn and young teen girls dancing videos on YouTube (14 yr olds). His desire in sex with me has decreased and he masterbates daily to videos. Can this be treated or will he always have this attraction?

I confronted him after finding the YouTube videos and he lied about how recent and frequent. He said he was ashamed and has always struggled with it. He has been staying away from porn (I checked his browsing as we have ano deleting history rule to gain trust back)

He has ADD and struggles with esteem issues. He has been stressed from work. I told him I will leave if I see one more teen video or porn. I am strong and mean it. We have been married 6 months and used to have a good sex life. Now it's once a week and he had trouble staying errect.

The whole teen fetish is really scary to me and I take it very seriously.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

Porn can be an addiction. The definition of addiction is the continued participation despite negative consequences and the inability to quit the activity. He meets both of these definitions. If this is the case then he will need to address this in therapy. The fact that he watches teens is a huge red flag. In some states he may be breaking the law. There are some people who would say that he has a fetish for young girls while others would say that it is just visual stimulation. If he is stimulated by inappropriate means he should eliminate this habit completely and work with the therapist to figure out what the attraction is and the appropriate therapy to channel this into more appropriate ways of being stimulated. If you for a second think that this transfers to real life then get out. If he is more easily stimulated by teens get out. Work on this with the therapist. I fear that if he is stimulated with teens on the screen than he may be stimulated eventually by teens in person. I would be worried.

 

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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Did you receive my follow up question?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I think viewing teens is fastest road to stimulation but truly don't think he would act on it. He's being a voyeur I believe. He will get the help he needs but do you think I am destined to a relationship with sexual dysfunction? He has had prostitutes in his 20's. Also very alarming as that is an indicator he will act on his addiction. He knows the teen videos are wrong but it seems like he can't control it. His dad is also a psychologist. He was rejected a lot in his teens as he was a late bloomer. Could that play into this issue?
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

If his fetish is watching teens there is a chance that this is a sexual dysfunction. Although he won't act on it this is still a problem. His stimulation is coming from viewing others that are sexually off limits. I am less concerned about prostitutes since they are consenting adults. I would not consider the prostitutes a high risk unless he has those fantasies now If he can't control his sexual thoughts then that is considered an addiction. I don't think his being a late bloomer is the issue. He should consider counseling on his own to address sexual fantasies that he may even find embarrassing.

 

Be back tomorrow

psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6884
Experience: Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
psychlady and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your help!
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
hope it works out

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