Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
If your mother lives with you and is refusing to care for herself, then you may be able to get an evaluation through your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA). They can evaluate her in your home to determine what level of care she needs and if you do not want to send her to a nursing home, they can tell you what services they can offer you and her in your home. Services can range from Meals on Wheels to a caregiver in your home. Here is the link to your local AAA:
The AAA may also be able to link you to doctors and other health care professionals in the Williamsburg and surrounding areas that can assist you in caring for your mother.
There are also other agencies that can provide resources to help you find the best level of care for your mom. Here is a link to another agency who can help:
They do provide referrals for nursing homes, but they also provide other resources and may be able to give you information for specific services for your mother in Virginia.
Also, you may want to talk to the AAA or an attorney about filing for guardianship of your mother's affairs. That way, you can handle her money for her. I believe you may need some type of certification from a doctor to prove she is incapable of caring for her own needs before you can gain guardianship. You can ask the AAA or your attorney for more information.
I hope this has helped you,