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Hey Rose, are we up and running?
I am sorry. I understand how you feel. But there is nothing wrong with you. I think in some ways you make expectations of yourself that need not be there. Yes, going out is sometimes fun. But most people who are introverted just don't like going out. They may enjoy a small gathering once in a while, but for the most part, it's draining to go out and be social. Being at home with the kids and hunkering down is a lot more fun!
I also noticed that every event you talked about had Dave involved. If he is going to be there, I can understand your reluctance to go. You are going through a very difficult time in your marriage and having to put on a face in front of everyone and suffer through Dave's antics is probably more than you can bear right now. You are pulling back from your former forced responsibility with him and it sounds like you are to the point you just don't want to put on the face anymore and pretend. But to not pretend means you would have to show your true feelings, which may feel too overwhelming right now. So going to these outings would mean forcing yourself to be extroverted, facing Dave and his issues on top of having to show others your true feelings about Dave. That is a lot to cope with to go to an outing.
I don't see what you are saying as whining. You are struggling to find your way. You are in a difficult position now and working to sort out your feelings. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out and asking to talk.
Rose, I am sorry to hear that you were so sick all weekend. Stomach stuff is the worst. It's so nice when it's over. Sleeping always feels so good when the stomach finally settles!
Sam sounds like he had quite a day. I hope his finger is on the mend.
There are two instances of you feeling you don't have a right to get what you need from others. One is about the Christmas parties and get togethers and the other is with asking for help when you were ill. Both times, you need to have your needs met but feel it's not ok to have them met. You don't feel you want to bother anyone or impose.
Being submissive in your response to others is ok when you feel you are in danger (such as if Dave would threaten you physically) or it can be inappropriate to ask for what you need (such as at a funeral when the attention needs to be on the family of the deceased). But acting submissive in all responses in life lets others believe that we don't respect ourselves. We are basically not being truthful about our needs. When someone asks, do you need a drink and we say no even though we are really thirsty, it tells that person we don't know our own needs. It tells them we also will allow them to dictate our needs. We give away our power and allow others to decide who we are.
But this also comes with a price. Since you don't get your needs met when appropriate, you have to find a way to get them met in other ways. This can mean acting out passive aggressively, through manipulation, or anger.
It is important you get your needs met. This can only come when you make a decision to push through the barrier that prevents you from having your needs met. This barrier was put there by your parents. It's up to you to take it down. It is hard and takes some work, but you are already accomplishing this with how you have arranged the Christmas parties. You don't want to go and you are willing to allow Dave and Poppy to go with some revisions. That is perfectly acceptable.
With being ill, calling for help would have been fine. You wanted to feel better, the hospital would have had the medicine to help you to do that plus they could have provided the care you needed to help you get better. If you were still a nurse there, how would you have felt about helping a former nurse that came in ill? That should give you the answer you need to deal with the anxiety you felt about calling for help.
I am not sure what K means by giving feedback for your sessions. Can you clarify it some? I am happy to help you any way I can.
A bonus would be just fine, Rose. Thank you ahead of time!
Good night Rose! I hope you are feeling much better and sleep very deeply tonight. I'll talk with you tomorrow.
It sounds like you have had a stressful day! Maybe some time tonight for yourself would help. Any chance of getting any?
It is good you went to your physio appointment today. It is hard to face those kinds of appointments (I had to push myself to go to see my doc today- just for a regular appointment) but you find that when you force yourself to go, you feel so much better later on when it's over. That can be the good kind of assertive. Pushing yourself to do a good thing for yourself. Plus a good looking physio therapist helps too
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Your aunt's situation is quite stressful in itself. I am glad you have some help through your father. But being a caregiver in any capacity is difficult. Try taking some extra time for yourself on the days you work with her. A balance in rest and work can help a lot.
I am glad you slept last night! You needed it after such a weekend.
That is a shame that Sam had to wait again. It should not be like that for him. Good for him though sticking it out and at least getting 1/2 hour. Hopefully, they will treat him better next time.
I am sorry that JA is not responding and helping you with this problem. Is there a higher level person like a supervisor you could talk with?
Oh, I am sorry Rose! You must wonder if it's worth it all. How aggravating! This kind of stuff is not supposed to be hard to do
If you decide to go through it, I'll be here. See you on the new subscription!
I'm glad to hear you are almost through this mess. What an experience!
I am anxious to hear how the CAMHs appointment goes for Sam. I'll say a prayer for him that all goes well, and for you as well with your chiropractor. This is the first appointment for you, right?
Have a good night. Sleep well.
Thanks for the update, Rose. Hopefully, JA will get this straightened out!
Rose, thanks for letting me know. I hope Sam was ok with his appointment and it went well.
Maybe we'll be able to chat tomorrow...
Have a good night,
Thank you Kate. I'm really missing you.
I miss you too. I hope your day is going well.
Thank you Kate,
you have cheered me.
We say goodbye to Customer, and hello to blue! Keep a lookout for me, I'm switching accounts, still no subscription yet, but I have to get the account started first. See you later.
Hey! Welcome Blue! I will look out for your question.