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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5804
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate:I spent a nice long evening with Eve last night! she

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Kate:I spent a nice long evening with Eve last night! she gave me directions to her apartment! we went out to dinner ! she was very happy to spend time together! we talked for several hours!! #1 issue she has is all the needed time I have to spend with my 87 year old moms care ! shes just not my mom but we Farm together here in Central Mi. ok !My mom has a severe Sciatica nerve problem as well as problems walking !Shhe came close to death last March with a gangere hernia ! ok ! i am the closest sibling ! Eve as stated she needs to be #1 as I told you before ! As we are christians she Quoted scripture ! re A man is too leave is Father & Mother & take forth a wife ! I contacted our pastor to talk wit him on this situation & our deacon ! I need help for my mom & she needs to know to let go of me in those aspects! so I can put Eve # XXXXX in my life! You also sould know both of our mothers consider us as their favorite child !!! And se tries to stay as far from her mom as possible ! Both of our moms want eac of us in their center of attention!her mom gets depressed easily& as moved 3 times in the past year ! trying to find somewere that makes her happy! Believe me I know its true her mom wants her attention & she will call Eve : and ridicule her as she was spending too much time with me & my mom or family !Eve would get off the phone & cry ! Eve told me how she just called both her sisters & asked tem if their mom invaded their marriages ! they both said yes ! Eve: describes er mom Betty as a Fart in the wind! your thhoughts on this a reatly appreciated! we want to get these issues beyond us!! again we need input! thank you Marvin !

Hi Marvin, it's good to hear from you! I am sorry I did not get back to you sooner. I usually take Sundays off.


I am so glad to hear that you and Eve have reached the stage where the two of you are working out your differences together. This is a good sign.


Eve is right that she is to be the center of your life and come first, right after God in your life. But it is a difficult place to be in when you have a mother who needs you, and for good reason. It's not like your mother is emotionally needy like Eve's mother and it is easier to move away from the demands. Physical illness requires care, and your mother needs help.


Have you both thought about trying to get extra help for your mother? If your siblings rely on you to care for your mother, then they should be contributing in other ways to her care. Maybe they might be willing to pitch in together to provide a part time nurse to be with your mother in times when you want to be elsewhere. Also, have you contacted your local Area Agency on Aging? Depending on where you live, they may be able to offer you numerous services to help including aides, nurses, evaluations, Meals on Wheels and other caregiver services. Some even offer you a stipend for caring for your mother as primary caregiver. Try contacting your local social services department for information.


There are also ways you can make Eve feel number one in your life. Send her flowers, set up special dates with her, surprise her with a gift, be affectionate, and tell her how special she is to you. Treat her like a queen and you will make her feel number one. Here are some resources to help give you ideas and to use with Eve to bring you closer:


Our Love Is Here to Stay: A Daily Devotional for Couples by XXXXX XXXXX and Lois Evans


How to Be Your Wife's Best Friend: 365 Ways to Express Your Love by Dan Bolin and John Trent


What Makes a Woman Feel Loved: Understanding What Your Wife Really Wants by Emilie Barnes



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Hi Marvin,


I hope you and Eve found the information helpful. If you have further questions, let me know.





Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Kate !& I spent thrusday togethe ! as she had a Special eye Appt: @ Uof M in Ann Arbor Mi. it is 100 plus mile trip each way ! it was found she now has Autoimmune Retinophy ! in both eyes ! she was just diagnosed & now has Lucas type Medications ! We have been looking at Wedding rings & went out dancing Friday night & dinner each night & more wedding ring shopping on Sat : evening ! We spent most of the day today with my mom & family as my niece had her Birthday today ! Everything went well & she had a nice time with my mom & family ! Your thoughts ? m

I am sorry to hear that Eve had bad news about her eyesight. I am sure she was very glad to have you with her to help her through the news. It sounds like you were very supportive.


It is great you are looking at wedding rings and preparing to move ahead with your lives. Eve (and you) must be very happy! It seems you both have found a good balance between your mother's needs and your needs as a couple.


It sounds like you both have worked out the issues of before and are now looking ahead. It is a good path you are on and I'd recommend you keep going. This is a good time to keep in mind for when after you marry. Marriage is hard work and with the stress of your mother's situation, it will take time and patience to balance all the attention both situations need. Be willing to seek out help if you start to see trouble and also rely on others for support.


I think you are off to an excellent start!



Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Kate ! Eve is afraid that she is going to go Blind with having autioimmune retinopathy ! Let me share something ! Last night as we were headed home ! I was driving & watching out for deer ! we were coming home from West Michigan ! going East she asked my Mom & I have something to "ask" is that the Moon ? yes it was at 6:25 pm ! it was in the Northeast ! just coming over the Horizon ! ps : she is very afraid of going blind" On Dec: 8 th when we found it out & she turned to me & said ! Marvin are you sure you want to Marry a Blind women ? ps: 1& 1/2 hrs later we were @ a Mall & I said to Eve: We need to stop in here ! ps: Jewelers ! her response was ! Oh you need another watch ? my response was ! no something much smaller & alot more important ! your thoughts ? m



It is very understandable that Eve is afraid. Going blind is a tremendous loss and she may be feeling very vulnerable right now. It is not surprising that she feels you may not want to be with her, but it is an unfounded fear.


Do you think Eve would be open to seeing a therapist? Her doctor may have already referred her, but if not, it would help her adjust and provide her with much needed support (besides your wonderful support, that is!). She needs to find ways to cope with her fear and the uncertainty of her future. And your great support has to be a wonderful balm to her fears. Keep doing what you are already doing. You are giving her hope for the future and that is the best thing to do for her right now.



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You may want to talk to the medical experts on Just Answer to get a referral to someone who could help Eve. You could also contact your local hospital for referrals or the American Medical Association may be able to provide names for you. Nurses are always helpful in finding good doctors so if you know any, ask them. They are usually more than willing to help.



Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Kate ! thanks Eve has an appointment to her primary care Dr. wed afternoon ! my question now is this ! should i mention medical counselling ? again we are Christians & believe in Eternity ! your thoughts ? m

If you mean that she should get a medical consultation, by all means mention it. Regular mental health counseling is the best way to help her though. Doctors can provide excellent medical advice and some bed side manner to go with it, but only a trained counselor can help Eve navigate through her fear. Being Christians, you may want to try your church first to either see someone there or they may have referrals they can offer you. Some counselors are also Christian counselors who may advertise God based counseling as part of their skill set. Try this site to help:



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