I understand. Many people say the system is sometimes hard to navigate.
Loneliness after a divorce is pretty common. You become used to always having someone there with you and even if it is not going well, you still are not alone. The loss of that person creates a gap in your life. You may appreciate that the problems are finally gone and you don't have to deal with them anymore, but that does not mean you are not feeling grief over your loss. Good or bad, you lost something. That will cause you to mourn.
Loneliness can happen even if you are surrounded by people. It has to do with the connections you feel to others. Marriage often allows for that deeper connection we all crave. Being close, sharing things most people do not know, and just the routine of having someone close by can make it easier to ignore our other connections.
There are different kinds of loneliness and it is unique to each person. Here are some ways you may feel lonely:
Feeling left out
Feeling that everyone is too busy to be with you
Feeling uncared for or unloved
Wanting a companion but not being able to find one
Not being able to connect to anyone on an emotional level
Try finding out exactly what type of loneliness you feel. That can help you resolve it by knowing how to address it.
Also, think about what you are looking for. What would your life be like if you did not feel lonely? Would you include close friends, more time with family, more social time or a new relationship?
Depending on what kind of loneliness you have, you can try the following:
Join a group- it can be a hobby group, YMCA, gym, sport or support group. This will give you something to look forward to and provide a group of people who have common interests and goals.
Fill your time up- think about the week ahead, what things can you plan to keep you busy and with others? Plan something for each day if you like that level of activity.
Go where others are lonely too- volunteer at a nursing home or hospital, serve in the community or offer time to an agency like Habitat for Humanity. This connects you with people who need others. Feeling needed and appreciated can help you feel more connected and even loved.
Plan time with your family- get together as often as you can. Babysit, host dinners, or just invite everyone to watch a game with you. Make it fun with snacks or pizza.
Also, consider counseling again if you feel you do not feel better after a few months. It may be your medication needs adjusted or you just need support that therapy can offer until you feel better.
I hope this has helped. Please let me know if you have more questions.