How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Bill Your Own Question

Bill
Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3706
Experience:  35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
48585111
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Bill is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

We recently got married two months ago, and although we had

Customer Question

We recently got married two months ago, and although we had a few sexual encounters pre-marriage, my husband's sexual drive has recently diminished significantly. He doesn't know why that is, we are renting a house and furnishing it, he has debt from our wedding and honeymoon, He stresses out at work but nothing more unusual than normal day to day. If we make love, he gets soft easily and cant ejaculate unless he is in a certain position. He rarely wants to experiment, and I haven't been able to reach an orgasm since we have been together. He doesn't like foreplay much and doesn't help me get off! He has a problem with a past relationship I had before him and I don't think he has forgiven me, because he reminds me of it on occasions and tells me it may be the cause! I don't know what to do, I am desperate, I'm scared of this problem separating us away from each other.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Bill replied 5 years ago.

Bill :

Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

Bill :

I am sorry to hear about this issue in your marriage and from what you write it sounds like your husband is overwhelmed with anxiety and this will often lead to low sex drive or decreased libido.

Bill :

He could also have a co-occuring depression which typically goes hand in hand with anxiety.

Bill :

What you need to do is make sure that he has a complete physical to insure that he is not having any physical problems that are related to this ( at his age, I doubt it but you always want to make sure).

Bill :

Over the years, I have seen many young couple with these issues and although it does impact the current issues in your marriage, it is not something that cannot be resolved. If your husband is depressed, sex and intimacy issues will be taking a back seat as when a person is depressed they are using all of their energy just to make it through the day.

Bill :

The following information will help you understand depression and how this may be effecting your relationship. The website also has many other helpful articles related to anxiety, stress management and relationship issues. They are all very good.

Bill :

Talk to your husband about these possibilities and if needed seek the counsel or a trained Therapist that can help each of you with your early marriage adjustment issues.

Bill :

I think all will be well in time. Don't wait, or it will worsen.

Bill :

If you have additional questions of me, feel free to ask.

Bill :

Otherwise, I wish you the very best.

Bill :

Bill

Bill :

PLEASE CLICK GREEN ACCEPT BUTTON SO THAT I RECEIVE CREDIT FOR MY TIME
I ALSO APPRECIATE POSITIVE FEEDBACK
THANK YOU AND HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE DAY!

JACUSTOMER-oqe2j48b- :

Im sorry but I could have figured that out on my own! Sorry for the inconvenience!

Expert:  Bill replied 5 years ago.
Hi- It seems that you were not satisfied with my response and although you could have "figured this out on my own"
I want you to know that you can respond here and I will attempt to address this in greater detail.

As I said, this is a problem that will not get better alone. If you need help finding professionals in your area that can help with this, simply provide me with your zip code and I will be happy to provide resource information.

Best, Bill

Related Mental Health Questions