How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Bill Your Own Question

Bill
Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3705
Experience:  35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Bill is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

We recently got married two months ago, and although we had

Customer Question

We recently got married two months ago, and although we had a few sexual encounters pre-marriage, my husband's sexual drive has recently diminished significantly. He doesn't know why that is, we are renting a house and furnishing it, he has debt from our wedding and honeymoon, He stresses out at work but nothing more unusual than normal day to day. If we make love, he gets soft easily and cant ejaculate unless he is in a certain position. He rarely wants to experiment, and I haven't been able to reach an orgasm since we have been together. He doesn't like foreplay much and doesn't help me get off! He has a problem with a past relationship I had before him and I don't think he has forgiven me, because he reminds me of it on occasions and tells me it may be the cause! I don't know what to do, I am desperate, I'm scared of this problem separating us away from each other.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Bill replied 2 years ago.

Bill :

Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

Bill :

I am sorry to hear about this issue in your marriage and from what you write it sounds like your husband is overwhelmed with anxiety and this will often lead to low sex drive or decreased libido.

Bill :

He could also have a co-occuring depression which typically goes hand in hand with anxiety.

Bill :

What you need to do is make sure that he has a complete physical to insure that he is not having any physical problems that are related to this ( at his age, I doubt it but you always want to make sure).

Bill :

Over the years, I have seen many young couple with these issues and although it does impact the current issues in your marriage, it is not something that cannot be resolved. If your husband is depressed, sex and intimacy issues will be taking a back seat as when a person is depressed they are using all of their energy just to make it through the day.

Bill :

The following information will help you understand depression and how this may be effecting your relationship. The website also has many other helpful articles related to anxiety, stress management and relationship issues. They are all very good.

Bill :

Talk to your husband about these possibilities and if needed seek the counsel or a trained Therapist that can help each of you with your early marriage adjustment issues.

Bill :

I think all will be well in time. Don't wait, or it will worsen.

Bill :

If you have additional questions of me, feel free to ask.

Bill :

Otherwise, I wish you the very best.

Bill :

Bill

Bill :

PLEASE CLICK GREEN ACCEPT BUTTON SO THAT I RECEIVE CREDIT FOR MY TIME
I ALSO APPRECIATE POSITIVE FEEDBACK
THANK YOU AND HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE DAY!

JACUSTOMER-oqe2j48b- :

Im sorry but I could have figured that out on my own! Sorry for the inconvenience!

Expert:  Bill replied 2 years ago.
Hi- It seems that you were not satisfied with my response and although you could have "figured this out on my own"
I want you to know that you can respond here and I will attempt to address this in greater detail.

As I said, this is a problem that will not get better alone. If you need help finding professionals in your area that can help with this, simply provide me with your zip code and I will be happy to provide resource information.

Best, Bill

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education