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Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Over 15 years exp. Married 30 years and happy.
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I think my husband has cheated on me and recently i found that

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I think my husband has cheated on me and recently i found that he has been signed up for all sorts of sex chats. he went to a business trip/trade show and i found 2 pix of an Angels baseball game sent to him by a person and several months later, i found she texted pix of her breasts and genitalia to him. i emailed her and she said he told her he was divorced. i have asked her several times if they slept together and she has never told me a definite yes or no. she has said that the types of pictures she sent would indicate what type of relationship they had. He claims they never slept together but admitted to racy texting and he said he texted a picture of his penis to her. I have a hard time believing that any woman would out of the blue email a picture of her vagina to someone who has not seen it already. I'm christian and am really having a rough time with this. I've lost trust in him and because of my christian beliefs, I think that divorce is not right. He says if I move back in, the extra chatting and texting will stop but I don't know if that is the truth. What can I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 5 years ago.
Yes your husband is cheating on you and on your marriage. Marriage is supposed to be exclusive. That means that you and he are each other's sexual partners and no else is allowed in that territory. Based on what you are reporting your husband and this woman have had sexual relations. Have their sexual relations been acted out physically, I don't know but they have been mentally and visually. When your husband tells you he will stop when you move back in he is displaying zero understanding of his responsibility to your marriage. Let him go to counseling by himself until he becomes enlightened and remorseful and discontinues his adulterous behavior. And while we are on the topic of adultery I will remind you the Bible does allow Christians to divorce for this cause. Give him some time to get himself straightened out and if he doesn't try to remember that you have a lot to offer a man who can and will keep his marital vows and thus you may want to think about a divorce.

I don't take marriage lightly, I believe it must be preserved and sometimes that means protecting it from the kind of abuse he is throwing at yours.

Good for you for being strong.

Keep it up.

Sincerely,
Mark Manley
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