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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
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I live with anagorophobic who is in love with an absent boyfriend.

Resolved Question:

I live with anagorophobic who is in love with an absent boyfriend. I want to be her boyfriend. How should I go about it?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Penny Rayas, MFT replied 5 years ago.
Hello there and thanks for asking JA. Yours is a difficult dilemma. Your leave with this lady who has a boyfriend who is not there. Maybe all you can do is wait for her to realize that her relationship is over first. I think if you move too fast she may back away from you. Do you think she has feelings about you. Also can you tell me what you mean by absent?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Dear Penny,

 

When I say absent, he has not been to see her for three months and they change between a full relationship to being friends on the telephone. When she is just friends with her boyfriend she becomes friendly and when they are getting on she boasts constantly about him.

 

Anthony

Expert:  Penny Rayas, MFT replied 5 years ago.
I can understand that but she has not let go of her ex. She probably needs time to let him go. She is in a fantacy relationship that does not exist. You can try to talk to her about how she deserves more in a loving way. Just give her clues that you like her. Maybe buy her flowers when she had a bad day. I hope this works for you. You have to be prepered for her to say that she only sees you as a friend.
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