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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5785
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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This is a follow-up question to my earlier question. When I

Customer Question

This is a follow-up question to my earlier question. When I returned to work, my supervisor made clear that I was not to send any more e-mails expressing concerning about whether I felt she had treated me with respect (she gave the impression that I wasn't to do this in person either). I.e., that she hadn't acted with disrespect and did not treat the employees who worked with her with disrespect. Basically end of story. When I asked wouldn't she prefer that an employee bring it up if she felt her toes had been stepped on, her answer was, "no." Also, that I could not possibly know her to make any assessments of her or her conduct. This despite knowing working with her and being friendly with her for over 10 years (before her recent promotion) and hearing many personal stories from her about her life both at work and away from the office. She also made a big deal, in conjunction with the next manager up, about me arriving a hour late my first day back from a month in Europe, despite the fact that this only meant I missed a welcoming party for a new staff person (just to remind you, I've been at this job for 32 years).
Am I missing something here? Please tell me what you think this indicates about this supervisor and any suggestions about how I should proceed. Thank you.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


I understand your concern. After reading your previous question and this one as well, it appears that your supervisor is finding her job a bit overwhelming. She sounds ill prepared to cope with your feelings about her conduct and she is taking your comments personally, instead of handling them as a manager. She may not be comfortable in her role and is unable to respond in a professional way so she bans you from making further comments. This is not a good way to deal with how you feel. She needs to be open to your comments and respond in a professional way. Also, she cannot treat you differently from any other employee, just because she does not like what you have to say.


Although you may no longer be able to go to her about how you feel regarding her work with you, she cannot ban you from communicating with the manager above her or with human resources, if things should become unfair or discriminatory. You have a right as an employee to file complaints and have them addressed, just as any other employee does. To be treated differently is discrimination.


However, at this point, you may want to let this situation go. Making this a big issue may reflect on you in a bad way because it becomes your word against hers. But what you can do is start making notes about what is going on. If this becomes a trend, you will have times, dates and a written account of your situation. This lets you be taken seriously if this becomes a bigger issue over time. Also, explore your rights as an employee. Your company should have a set of rules that you can familiarize yourself with so you know your rights and your boundaries. This will help you know how to approach this problem or any others that occur and who you can turn to for help.


I hope this helps,


TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Other.
It's not that I'm not satisfied with the answer -- which I think was fine, as indicated. However, I would like to another perspective. Thank you.

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