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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5559
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am married, in the process of divorcing a narcissist wife,

Resolved Question:

I am married, in the process of divorcing a narcissist wife, I am concerned about our 15 year old daughter becoming like her mother, I have lived with her for 25 long years, I cannot take it anymore, while I am now going through the different emotions, depression, etc I also know that this is not a healthy situation to go back to.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

Could you clarify your question- are you asking about your daughter's chances of being like her mother? If so, have you seen signs of similar behavior with your daughter? Or are you concerned about your own symptoms?

 

Is your daughter living with your ex wife after the divorce?

 

 

Thank you,
Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
My daughter will be living with her mother, she is a beautiful child, has ADHD but is doing very well in school, I am concerned that she has been idolized by her mother, buys her expensive gifts, and yes I am also trying to deal with my own feelings.
Luis
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX the additional information.

 

Let's talk about you first. The emotions you are experiencing during your divorce are very normal. No matter how bad your marriage was, it is a loss when you divorce. It is also an adjustment and takes time. You may go through a period where you mourn and experience grief. This is ok. As long as you do not start to have trouble coping with every day life or feel suicidal, accept how you feel and cope the best you can. Support through friends, family, support groups and even therapy can help you until you begin to feel better.

 

Regarding your daughter, if she is not showing signs of being narcissistic at this point, she probably does not have a problem. Narcissism is not something that is easily taught to someone. It usually develops in response to an abusive childhood or a personality problem. Your ex wife giving her gifts and attention is not going to affect her that much, especially if she has you to balance the effects. When your daughter is with you, try doing the opposite. Take her to volunteer over the holidays or be an example by donating or sharing what you have with others. Talk about caring for other people and help those in need. Even if it is a small gesture (holding a door for someone or saying thank you), it can have a big impact.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5559
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Mental Health Professional
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Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.