Yes, you have suffered a lot of losses. As a result, you have been exposed to trauma, which is the cause of PTSD and grief.
After a traumatic experience, such as the deaths you suffered and the abuse you went through, it is very common to feel strong emotions. Oftentimes, the feelings become so overwhelming that you develop trauma symptoms. As a result, you can feel numb, have nightmares, feel irritable or on edge, have flashbacks, outbursts and a variety of other symptoms.
Even if your losses were in the past, if you had no support, were unable to get adequate help or just never dealt with how you felt, the PTSD can last for years. It sounds like you suffered a series of losses and abuse over several years. So even if you did deal with the first or second trauma, you were probably re traumatized each time you suffered a loss.
You mentioned seeing a psychiatrist. Have you ever seen a therapist? Medications are great for helping you temporarily deal with the symptoms, but medication cannot resolve the symptoms. Therapy and self help are the best options to help you finally resolve your symptoms and learn to cope with the traumas. To find a therapist, ask your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
Here are some other resources to help you:
I hope this has helped you,
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