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Thank you for choosing it just answer! I see that you had a number of replies from a psychologist and a psychiatrist but I will try to address each of your questions as you have presented them. Your first question concerns being able to ejaculate during masturbation which has occurred for approximately the last four years. For some men, problems with orgasm or desire are based in a loss of contact with their own body. In other words, you may not be aware how aroused you are (an erect penis is an obvious sign of arousal, but it is not the only one). Men who have these difficulties also tend to be very dependent on specific types of erotic fantasy and physical stimulation to the penis. The first step is for you to get in touch with your physical level of arousal - a process of getting back in touch with your own body and its sexual responses. You begin to masturbate your penis with your hand while you use the fantasy that turns you on the most. When you feel turned on, you revert to using the physical sensations of stimulating your penis to keep yourself excited; when you are about to reach orgasm, you stop masturbating and waits for your arousal to drop. When it has done so, you again stimulate your penis with your hand alternating between physical arousal and fantasy to maintain your excitement at a high level. After stopping and starting this penile stimulation three times in succession, you masturbate to orgasm. The essence of the process is that a man is relearning what it feels like to be aroused purely through touch - rather in the way that a boy learns to play with his penis because because it feels good, not because he is mentally turned on. This shows a man that it is possible to get aroused without the help of fantasy.
Now as to your second question love being aroused your mother-in-law and actually masturbating in front of her. I would agree that it would bother me as well on many levels. What you are describing is listed as a perversion, called frottering. You mentioned that you have an active sexual life with your wife but did not say anything about her potential joylessness or questioning your somewhat perverse fantasies. In the realm of human sexuality at least according to Freud, having a satisfying sexual relationship with your wife is considered to be much more normal than masturbating in front of your mother-in-law. I would agree with the other therapists in that I am sure you would feel much more satisfied if you simply maintained your sexual relationship with your wife Eventually your sexual interests in your wife will be re-awakened and and you’ll feel less of a need for this somewhat perverse activity.
I hope this more accurately answers your question.
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