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AgapeDoc
AgapeDoc, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
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Have 16-17 year old granddaughter, has run away from her family

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Have 16-17 year old granddaughter, has run away from her family home several times in the last 6months. Now living with us by herself in our granny flat. We think she may be bipolar or have a personality disorder. The reason we think this is that she can be such a nice person and then all of a sudden goes off at the least little thing, also can't take no for an answer, and lies all the time. We have tried to get her to go to a doctor about it but she won't go. Because of her age in Australia she has to be the one to ask for help. Do you know of any other way that we can get her checked out.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  AgapeDoc replied 5 years ago.

AgapeDoc :

Thanks for contacting Just Answer.

AgapeDoc :

Let me see if I can help here......

AgapeDoc :

OK.....I have read your post and I think I may have some ideas.

AgapeDoc :

It is my intention to answer your question and exceed your expectations. If you are satisfied with my efforts, will you click on the green accept button?

AgapeDoc :

Oh, I see you are off line right now. Let me go ahead and see if I can help with what you have posted up to this point....

AgapeDoc :

I understand that in Australia she has to be the one to request help and unless she does, you can't "make" her go to the doctor.

AgapeDoc :

So......

AgapeDoc :

The goal is to make her want to go to the doctor. Let me just stop right here and say that the more people push her, the more she is likely to resist. The idea is to get her to want to go. I can't say specifically what would motivate her to go - you know her better than I do, but there may be something that would work.

AgapeDoc :

I am not usually a big fan of making deals - especially teenagers... however, in this case, if you can make a deal with her I would support that.

AgapeDoc :

Now.... this is very important......

AgapeDoc :

Don't try and get too much of a commitment from her. That is to say, try and convince her to just go once to see what the doctor has to say - make sure she knows that the doctor will be HER advocate and make it clear that she will not be obligated to follow the doctor's recommendations if she choses not to.

AgapeDoc :

Of course we are hoping that she will see the light and follow the doc's recommendations, but the first thing is to get her there.

AgapeDoc :

Offer to give her something - something fair as a trade off.

AgapeDoc :

Here is the other idea....

AgapeDoc :

If you can't get her to go... then you go.... this is what I mean by this.....

AgapeDoc :

If she continues to refuse to go get help for her issues - then you go to a "Life Coach" and get strategies on living with a person who needs help, but refuses to get it. This has worked for many of my clients. Often times I serve as a Life Coach and help parents and spouses deal with very similar issues. It works quite well.

AgapeDoc :

Often times, once the "well" client comes in for coaching, the identified client starts therapy - it's strange, but I have seen it many times.

AgapeDoc :

I hope I have been helpful - I know this is an exceedingly difficult situation to say the least and you must be absolutely beside yourself. I wish there was more that I could do besides just answer your question, but that's what we have in this forum.

AgapeDoc :

If you are satisfied with my efforts, please don't forget to click on the green accept button so I can get credit for my work.

AgapeDoc :

All my best.

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