Hi, my name is XXXXX XXXXX I'm writing in reference to my older son, Jeremy, 38yo. Within the last 18mos +or-, he has been going thru some dibilatiating emotional and physical times. He was always the "strong one" in the family,walking in the footsteps of his Dad. His Dad is a quadrapledic, but very postive and self sustained. We have rarely seen or spoken with him for 6mos up till Mom's day of this year-the happiest day in my life! His girlfriend of 12yrs said the other day, he lives to have the approval of his father and me. He's always known he can come to us for anything, anytime. but in his state of mind currently, he seems not to care. I had let our younger son come live with us for a few weeks recently-under our better judgement. It rurned out to be a terrible mistake, putting every under an unbelievable stress
-he is 35yo, married to a 24yo, and has a baby girl who will be two and this was the 2nd time we've seen her.To make things a bit cleared, I am diagnosed with Clinical Depression for the las 5 yrs and am treatment resistent to the meds; so I tried ECT and after the 2nd treatment, I suffered 2 heart attacks, even tho I had cardiac clearence. Never had cardiace problems prior to the ECT, but with with only 2 sessions, I did
feel some peace, and even my doctor recognized the same. But I don't want to die either, except a few times. The brothers have always dispised each other. He also was afraid we would think he was like his brother-well, unfortunately, we found out in the last few days, it's true, but not to Ryan's extent. The doctor told me to come home to rest, be stress free and they came to live a week after i was released from the hospital. I can only blame myself; I was SO afraid he would give my husband a heart atack(has many, many medical problems), so I was wound up the entire time. Didn't know what to do or how to fix it. Found out he was stealing our medications we need to live, even our morphine, Klonopin. baclofen, and provigil. I was devasted he would do that to us knowing our health situations. We have spent thousands of money the last few years trying to keep them afloat, mainly for the baby; it was a total waste. Everything I try to do good, turns around and ends up worse.
When Jeremy's girlfriend started texting me, I knew it had to be not good. He wasn't eating, wanted to sleep, nothing made him happy, felt self defeated, and was afraid we wouk think of him as his brother. He texted his Dad last evening and said he would be "better not being here cause all he does is hurt everyone and he doesn't know why? I freaked, because I've felt that many times, even recently. His girl and I chased him thru the woods after church yesterday, and she caught him in the middle of a busy highway median. She grabbed and wouldn't let him go till we got him in the van. He sat and cried with his head hung low, totally embarrassed. He had not been paying his bills and they were way behind and she didn't know. He's very sneaky. I told my husband and him and Pat, it would kill me if he ended up like me with the horrible pain daily and that's how I started out. We don't know what to do. Their insurance is poor and they can't afford to pay for sessions. He borrowed a large sum of money last week and even lied to her about that as well as us-my head is swimming. I've been researching options aall morning, mainly waiting for return calls. So I was elated to find you all! Guess you weren't expecting a family novel! I'm very sorry...any comment would be very much appreciated. Thank you for your time...