One of the main symptoms of Borderline does seem to be the fear of abandonment and also the inability to maintain relationships.
The psychotherapist I saw for the assessment asked if that was a problem for me and I said I didn't think so, as I have been with my husband for 22 years, 19 of which we have been married for. I have a few friends but they are all good friends that I have had for a minimum of about 10 years and I am still friends with a girl I started school with some 40+ years ago.
I did have a fear of being discharged from the mental health team when they mentioned it at the beginning of this year, but I think that was more about knowing that I wasn't feeling well. I have had no problems when I have been discharged from them before and I left a therapist after several years with no problems either.
I don't know if the Olanzapine is working as it should or not. I am better on this dosage than I was on the lower dosage. Should it completely stop the mood swings from high to low. The psychiatrist I saw back in May also thought it was more likely to be Borderline because I don't feel as though I have any 'normal' periods between the highs and the lows; I always seem to be one or the other, but the depression lasts longer.
Is it normal though to have a mix of the high and the low, as this is how I've felt for the last couple of weeks. I have had the unending energy, with thoughts buzzing through my head at 100mph, but my mood has crashed and I am well and truly in a depression. It's not one thing or another! I have had this before, but probably only once in the last 12 months.
Am I going mad, because that's how I feel at times?