Sorry, I am so confused - not by your answer but about me!
I had my antidepressants withdrawn 2-3 months ago because the consultant said there was still a question mark over whether I have bipolar. I have since had an assessment with a psychotherapist who says I am showing traits of a personality disorder (not sure which one). I have spoken to my cpn today who doesn't understand why they don't just tell me what's wrong with me!
I tend to have a 'hyper' time, which lasts around 2-3 weeks at a time, which is accompanied by my head 'buzzing' and this is followed by a period of 2-3 months where I am in a deep depression, to the point that I feel suicidal and regularly self harm.
At the moment I seem to have a bit of a combination of both ... I have had high energy levels for the last 2-3 weeks, but the last week of this my mood has crashed through the floor. The energy levels are decreasing, but my mood can't get much lower.
All I want is for them to tell me what's wrong with me. They keep saying it's all about symptom control, but I NEED to know because I want to understand why I feel as bad as I do!
One doctor says I am describing bipolar and then another one says it's borderline. I understand that the symptoms are very similar but it's now been 18 months that I have been under the care of the mental health team and I feel no closer to having a diagnosis.
I can't carry on like this. This depression is slowly killing me ... I don't feel I can fight it much longer.
Sorry, that was a bit long-winded.