Hi, I would like to help you with your question.
Whenever someone has experienced neglect, been unloved and criticized in childhood, that causes a reaction in the child. A child needs love and attention to thrive. When the attention is negative or hurtful, then the child grows up with unmet needs. Your problems with anger are connected to the unmet needs you experienced as a child.
Although your doctor and your friend know you and your needs, you seem to feel that you have unmet needs and that there is a connection between your current issues and your past. That is enough to say that therapy should be considered for you. A therapist can help provide you with an evaluation to tell you what your anger might mean and the connection it may have to your childhood. Short term outpatient therapy may be enough to help you understand the connection and help start you on a path of feeling better.
Since you have your doctor and your friend to help you, they may be able to provide you with referrals to a therapist. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
The fact that most people experience childhood trauma does not mean it does not affect people in harmful ways. A child that has unmet needs does not know how to relate to the world in a normal way. As they grow up, they continue to search for a way to fill the hole inside left by the love and care they should have received from their parents or caregivers. As a result, some adults abused as children experience anger issues, others respond by developing anxiety, PTSD or depression, and still others have dysfunctional relationships. They may also abuse other people, including their own children. It depends on the abuse they experienced as a child and what kind of personality and coping mechanisms they have as an individual as to how they respond.
You can certainly learn to accept your past and move on. But in doing so, you still need to understand why you feel angry and what caused it. And what you can do to fulfill the needs you did not get met as a child. This is part of moving on. Loving yourself is wonderful, but people who can do this have come to terms with what happened to them through self help and/or therapy. Very few people have the ability to just accept their past and love themselves despite what happened to them.
You have the insight and drive to feel better. You know you have something bothering you that is preventing you from moving forward. That means you are healthy and want to overcome your past. This is what will get you through and help you to get better.
Since you have already read books and sought out other resources, if you feel you want me to recommend other resources for you I will be glad to do so. Just let me know.
If you have any other questions or want clarification, I'd be happy to help.
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