Hi and thank you for writing JA
I have read your post and would be happy to chat with you about this. A few things you should know first:
one is that a diagnosis of bi polar disorder can not be made unless the person is alcohol free for six months
and if the person was not alcohol free six months before being diagnosed
chances are they were mis diagnosed as 65 percent of those who were told by a physician that they had bi polar disorder did not
and most of those who were misdiagnosed were substance abusers.
So if you can tell me if he had six months of complete and total abstinence from all street drugs and alcohol at the time of his diagnosis its very likely he was mistakenly diagnosed. Let me know how to best guide you on this. Warm regards, Cathy
Hi are you here?
yes i am
Hi and nice to see you I think I might be able to help you with this or at very least put your mind at ease
can you tell me if he was using alcohol in the six months before the diagnosis of bi polar disorder
Thank you Cathy. He did not drink for alteast 4-5 months also at that time we wre going through IVF
Oh I see
so he did not meet the criteria for diagnosis
but thats okay because that same mistake is made on more than half
of the people who were overdiagnosed
which is of small comfort to yeou
but it might help you in the long run
the primary issue then is the alcoholism which we now know is a genetic illness
I will send you some info on this in a few moments and its much easier to treat
so if he can address that you might be okay whether you leave him or decide to stay
but until he has the appropriate treatment I would think its not a good time to make a decision
its not his fault if he were misdiagnosed and certainly not his fault if he inherited the gabra 2 gene for alcoholism
what he needs is appropriate treatment
I would give him a chance to get that before dissolving the relationship
How can he be misdiagnosed and then going through the medication, its been a rollar coaster ride for both of us?
oh my I can imagine
but over 65 percent were found to be over or misdiagnosed
I sent you the study above
I can well imagine you have been to heck and back
in fact the study I sent you was the second confirmation study on this from Brown University here in the US
for some reason I think the first studies on this were done in AU
Thank you.Its been very hard and I have been strong for both of us trying to get it togehter. The problem is that he knows he should not be drinking whilst getting treatment.
oh my yes
I can only imagine what you have been throughe
sorry I have a sticky e key on this computer so I make many typos
its very hard to stop drinking after a long time of drinking
people who drink alcoholically do so because they feel "sorta normal" when they drink
actually their brains produce a chemical called prostaglandin e 1 that is a feel good chemical
they do not produce the same chemicals as do non alcoholics
since discovering and isolating the gene five years ago its now become very easy to treat
and remarkably symptoms of alcoholism, even abstinent alcoholism mimic those of mild bi polar disorder or what they now call bi polar two
but I completely understand your position
you have been through so so much that no one would blame you if you threw in the towel no matter how much you have loved him, no one would blame you
I don't think he will stop drinking tho... I can give it a try and help him sort out his life out if it has been misdignosed. Thats all I can do. So where should I start tho
And yes I completely agree with you
you were not put her to suffer and be long suffering to someone who refuses help
You really need to think before giving this another try
but while you are thinking you can help him by educating him on the nature of the illness
and saying, look it is not your fault you got this gene but it is your responsibility to do something about it
and you can even tell him its not his fault treatment was so bad in the past
alcoholism and addiction are the only diseases where we used to blame the patient for not getting better
instead of looking at our fields in medicine and mental health and ask?
what the heck are we doing wrong that so many are still abusing alcohol?
you can tell him it was our fault for years and years that no real and effective treatment was out there
but you can also tell him that times have changed and now that we " get it" more and more are getting and staying well
and he can stop drinking and feel good with out alcohol
I will think about giving it another try. We are best friends and have so much in common. can't just throw a towel and walk away.
I know he is a great guy with a huge problem. I know this.
I have worked with thousands of alcoholics over the past thirty years and most if not all of them were pretty wonderful people with just one devastating illness.
yep you are right.. so what should I do now
okay a few things
first off I am going to send you a few more articles to read over and then one book to check out of your local public library
and you read them over and share them with him
and then you go about finding someone who can treat him appropriately
are you near Perth?
No Perth is 4-5 hors flight from Sydney.
oh my okay
forgive me my bad geography in AU
okay I know someone in Perth is the reason I ask
okay let me send you those articles and give you the name of the book
and that will give you a good start on this
Okay, thats a start. Any specialist in Sydney tho
in the interim, does you guy drink beer or the hard stuff?
well not good, that sounds so wrong
the reason I am saying okay good is that beer is a little less damaging than say whiskey or vodka
and of course he must not be permitted to drink and drive
but he already knows this
Yes he knows it all
but he is permitted to drink beer and only beer until he sees a specialist
no point in asking him not to drink just yet
because until a solution can be offered no point he will do it anyway
but for me, given the clients I see, I usually have to ask them to stick to beer or wine and not drink any hard spiriits
okay I am going to move us to q and a which is an email format and I will send you those articles and that book citation.
Ok see I dont want him to stop drinking. He just need to know when to stop. He drinks only on the weekends but currently because of the situation its every day
before I do that as we cannot return to chat from there.e
ah but his brain cant do that
his brain cannot do that the way that yours can
Cathy thank you very much for your help really appreciate talking on line.
its been my pleasure and do hang in there
at the same time
Puts my mind at ease
I trust you will know if and when you done all you can and it is time to walk away
you were put here to be happy and find joy in life
so give it your best shot
but know when its time and you have done all you can
thnak you and I will try and give it a go
okay I am moving us to q and a now
you be well and take good care of you
Thank you very much for your help. Will follow it up and try and give my best shot with the details you have provided.
Thank you again.