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Hi and thanks for writing JA
are you there?
okay let us know when you are online and I would be happy to help you with this>warm wishes, Cathy
Hi sorry about earlier my Internet was acting faulty.
No problem, I am happy to see you.
how are you tonight?
I'm fine thanks, yourself?
Fine and thank you for asking.
I was cheered to read your post today because right now I have more than one client in my practice with Aspergers and in a romance, so my romance legs have been getting quite a stretch lately. LOL
Well that's good to know. It's a very new field for me (even though I was actually misdiagnosed as having asperger's myself) I wanna be sure I can get the best possible advice.
are you sure you are not dating one of my clients????
Okay back to business
LOL I doubt it unless he decided to get information himself.
Being involved with someone with Aspergers is one of the most challenging relationships but it can also be one of the most rewarding
however before you decide to commit to this please be very very certain
as you probably already know relationships are rough
the divorce rate in the US is at 50 percent
and this will not be easy for you, you may not have a long term future with him and it may just be a pleasant romance?
I have to be upfront with you on this? is that okay?
That's fine. Let me see, we're exclusive, but we haven't made any more serious commitments. The ideas "not searching for future partners" has been brought up and mutually agreed upon, but any relationship might not work out, regardless if one's an aspie.
oh yes you are right on track
communication is the biggest hurdle
as you can see from the texting
you are going to have to set up some rules about this
how much time in text and in talk?
and negotiate a midway point for you both
that will depend on each of you right?
next and this sounds so silly but please hear me out
and I say this to my clients in marital counseling who are not aspergers
and it works
you need to plan out a date night
every week down to the last detail
we will go have dinner at mama Italinos place
and we will see George Clooneys new movie at Cineplex five on main streeet
Yeah I've noticed he certainly doesn't like his routine being interfered with.
so you know that every saturday night is date night
or whatever night suits you both
but with someone who has Aspergers
every detail helps them to feel safe
what restaurant at what time
what movie at which theater
and every detail
sometimes I go over the menu of the selected restaurant with my Aspergers clients so we can talk about what to order
I know this sounds silly but it works
it sounds tedious to people who do not have the disorder
but its not so tedious really
then the hard stuff
do we hold hands in the movie theater?
is there a kiss good night
is it a cheek kiss or a lip kiss?
I know its tough but it must be done
and finally laugh at all his jokes no matter how corny
forgot that golden nugget
I do understand that, having done some of my own research on Aspies surprisingly that's not much of an issue for him (LOL), but because I know he's a an aspie I almost always let him make the advantages.
which is apt advice for all women no matter who they date
You are quite a quick study
do this for a time and then you can progress from there
People with Aspergers syndrome must feel safe
in many ways?I think they are more intelligent than the rest of us on that matter :)
Yes he's definitely one of the most intelligent people I've ever met.
You are quite a thoughtful and mindful young lady so you are lucky to have found each other :)
Thank you. I certainly try. :)
I think you will do very well.
I hope so. :)
I am rooting for you and I have a feeling it will be just fine. Take it slow and enjoy.
Let me know if you need any further help on this but I think you are very much on track without any help already.
Have fun and enjoy him.
Have a nice evening. Thank you for your time.