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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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My wife syas she has fallen out of love with me and we have

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My wife syas she has fallen out of love with me and we have not had any physical contact for over two years .Any attempt for a cuddle or a kiss is brushed off and sex was never very great . We have been married for over 21 years both felt that we should stay together for our daughetr now 19 yeras old and in university .
In the past I had threatened her that would leave due to lack of sex ; now she says I am free to go ; If I want to stay I shd accept that there is going to be no cuddles /kisses or sex .
We have agreed to seperate but she wants to reamin friends ! I just do not get it .
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

If she is indicating to you that she does not desire sexual/physical intimacy and is also refusing to go to counseling, then yes, if you're to remain together you'd remain in the same situation. You alone cannot fix something within the marriage because it is a mutual task.

Many individuals confuse familiarity with having fallen out of love. A person can also recreate the feelings of being in love. If she is struggling with low libido, there may be reasons such as hormonal changes even depression that can cause that. But, if she is not willing to engage in self introspection or do anything to change (improve), then it would not be realistic to expect anything to go differently than what you've been dealing with up till now. She wants to live with you as friends and that is different than being and acting as your partner (wife) Your daughter is older now and remaining together for her sake may not be the healthiest thing. The two of you may revisit what options there are left depending on what you want to do hence forth.

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