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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I have a husband with an explosive temper and the emotional

Customer Question

I have a husband with an explosive temper and the emotional and verbal abuse that comes with it is more than stagnating our relationship. It has me at a point that if he said I'm leaving I would not even try to convince him not to. The strange thing here is I love him and though we have not reached a point of physical violence I am afraid to bring up the issues that can push his buttons. I'm not sure what the next step is. We have a 5 year old daughter as witness to all of this and I am concerned about her.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

This is a very delicate situation. Abuse is never helped by avoiding this situation or trying to resolve it yourself. You are right to assume that this is a bad example for two parents. The child learns that this behavior is acceptable and have a good chance of repeating it. You should not put off addressing this problem. The major obstacle is that your husband has to be motivated to stop this behavior and has to be open to the methods that we have available to us which is therapy. There is no way around fixing a problem by avoiding. If he is not motivated to be a different person he won't. There is self help out there but he has to want change so badly that he is willing to do whatever it takes. You can't want it for him. There are rules to fighting but abusers don't follow them. He has to face the consequences of losing his relationship however the solution comes to be. If he is trusting of another professional and willing to participate than it doesn't matter who the professional is. You can't make him change but you can give him consequences to this behavior. The choice is yours of whether you have the consequences that you need to offer to him.

 

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