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I think at this point in your life, you are feeling safer because you have support through your therapy. There are people that care about you (including me) and that may help you let down some of your guard and allow those feelings and memories to come out.
You may not want to deal with these feelings, and that is understandable. But you are a healthy person who when through very difficult times. Your natural instinct is to try and get back to feeling ok emotionally. You keep working through memories from the past and your current symptoms. Most of therapy is about dealing with past issues. This is exactly what you should be doing. Many people go to therapy to deal with issues from childhood on to present day. So what you are doing is very healthy.
.OKMH53016130 My son is very anxious. He gets like