A relationship is an image of equality and compromise. Here there is an inequality and a lack of compromise.
This issue is far more than just a lack of intimacy. This is psychologically an emotional aversion or phobia. Often it is the result of abuse or neglect in the person's past. When we kiss someone, we let ourselves experience, for a moment, strong feelings. These feelings often are associated with pleasure, but in some people they are associated with fear, a lack of control or confusion. This negative pattern is most often associated with prior neglect, fears of loss or previous abuse.
I am fairly certain that your boyfriend is trying, but that emotional issues are getting in the way of his success. He does have some insight but is unable to stop his behavior. Without a doubt, he needs to seek counseling for this issue as it is far more than just an inability to kiss or be intimate, and it speaks volumes about how he sees himself and relationships.
What should you do?
Couples counselors are very skilled in this area, and through your family physician or local clergy you should be able to locate a couples counselor.. Therapy for this issue involves looking at the source feelings behind his behavior and exploring what feelings are interfering in the bond of intimacy.
This is definitely not your fault. Your boyfriend has what is called "unfinished emotional business" and needs to deal with whatever issues are affecting your relationship today. The good news is that with help, this is highly resolvable and can be overcome. Steven