How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5418
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi Kate;I am stuck for an answer. Today, I had a very good

Resolved Question:

Hi Kate;

I am stuck for an answer. Today, I had a very good session with my therapist. Yet, tonight, I feel very sad. I feel I should be happy for the successful sessions but I still feel so many emotions.

Toward the end we talked a little bit about my OCD. She has always felt and i think still does that I have enough on my plate to deal with that we can leave it until I feel ready and I am very fine with this arrangement.

Last Tuesday, I told her I was afraid of how our session would go because I wasn't able to complete some of my counting before going to see her. She reminded me of that and how nothing bad happened and how it was one of our best sessions yet. This was true. However, I was very worried.

But I told her that I have these thoughts that I will go crazy. I don't usually say this out loud. Something about saying it makes it scarier for me. Regardless, I did and then I started to think of all the things I would have to count to make sure I didn't. The ironic thing is that it is driving me crazy to count to begin with!

She told me to put on my fears on her until we meet again on Tuesday and she would worry for me. She told me that she absolutely sure that I wasn't going to go crazy. She told me she would never let me go if she thought that. But I don't know how to just let all my worries and fears go like she has suggested although it is a wonderful thought.

Kathy
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Kathy,

 

It sounds like you are making great progress! OCD is about control and it is about the fear of feelings. After all, it is an anxiety based diagnosis. But your therapist gave you good advice about your OCD. One step at a time and allow her to take on the burden of some of your fears. Just assign some of your fears to her and when you feel them, remind yourself that you gave those feelings to her for a while.

 

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad or upset about your sessions. Therapy brings out all kinds of feelings, whether or not your sessions feel beneficial. Therapy works regardless of how the sessions progress because you are making the effort to get better. And that is why it works no matter what. Your effort makes all the difference.

 

Feeling sad or upset is actually a good sign. It means you are working through your feelings. Allow yourself to experience these emotions, think about what might be causing them. I can certainly help you if you feel stuck while you do this.

 

You will not go crazy. There is a saying that if you are worried about going crazy, you are not crazy. That means you have too much insight into your own behavior to be crazy. Very few people qualify as crazy. And I can tell you from talking to you that you are not even close.

 

Feeling crazy is a common feeling with people who are working on themselves and start to get close to a break through. It means that you are poking at your defenses and you are starting to make progress. The crazy feeling comes in when you start to strip away defenses. When you think of it, defenses are what has protected you from seeing what you really feel. But defenses do not work. They cause more problems than they solve. The real feelings underneath is what you need to let back out. You have already felt them before, so they cannot hurt you. But they can feel overwhelming and that is where your therapist (and me if you would like) come in. Support is the main key to working through this.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5418
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thanks Kate for your thoughts and support.

 

Nobody said therapy would be easy but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end. I just worry (constantly), that I don't have it in me to keep at it. It is exhausting work and often I leave my sessions emotinally drained.

 

Plus I do keep a journal and writing in it, although helpful, is also tiresome emotionally.

 

Your response sounds much more positive than I think I am. I realize that i have let some of my more hard feelings out before, but they still feel very fresh to me. They certainly feel like they can hurt me. Plus you are right, I do feel very overwhelmed by them at times and have no clue what to do at that point that is constructive rather than how I usually react which is destructive.

 

I am terrified of my feelings especially the ones about the attack. Do you think that when I do not talk about the attacks in a session this means my therapist thinks I am over them? I ask this because I know I am not. Is it important to always talk about that or is it okay if I choose to discuss other things going on in my life?

 

I am so tired of feeling sad and I find it disappointing to feel that way especially when I have a good session with her. I understand what you are saying though. I just feel badly so much of the time that I wish for a break from the feelings especially the sad ones. I feel weak when these ones sweep over me.

 

Thanks Kate for your continued support and help. I find the combination of my therapist and working with you to be very helpful especially during the time in between my sessions when it can be quite difficult for me and when I feel very alone. It is nice to think that I am not alone with such huge emotions.

 

Kathy

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

You're welcome, Kathy! I am happy to be here for you, anytime.

 

The trauma you went through caused many deep emotions. It is quite normal for you to feel down, depressed, sad and anxious. It is also normal for you to feel anger, rage, and want revenge. The feelings probably feel fresh to you because you are just getting back in touch with them.

 

When trauma happens to someone, they cope in different ways. But no matter how you respond, your mind tries to protect you. The initial shock causes your defenses to go up. And depending on your coping mechanisms, your defenses may stay up (most people's do) and you have to work to allow the true feelings about the trauma to come through. This is where you are now. You are very similar to soldiers from the war, abuse victims and people who have gone through such things as 9/11.

 

It does not feel good to feel sad all the time. And it is hard work to go to therapy and face your feelings. But this is a process. You are healthy. You are facing your feelings. And you are consistent at trying to deal with how you feel. All of those signs mean that you will get through this and feel better someday.

 

Your therapist realizes that just because you do not talk about your trauma each time you see her that you are over it. You could never maintain facing your trauma that often. No one could. Your therapist knows this. You also need to work on other things you feel, because it is part of the whole picture. People are complex and so there needs to be a lot of leeway in therapy to help cope with all feelings that come up.

 

You are not alone with how you feel. I am glad to be here for you and help you through this. You are very brave to face what you have been through and I feel honored to be there for you.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5418
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education