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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I have a lot of resentment inside of me, it is eating me alive.I

Resolved Question:

I have a lot of resentment inside of me, it is eating me alive.I want to be happy again and be the same person that I was 15 years ago. I finish my marriage and it was a nightmare, I am scared and angry, I am 39 years old and I have 3 kids... Could i be the same person that i was?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

Yes, you can be the same person you were, and even better. The answer lies in finding out why you feel so resentful and how to resolve it.

 

Your marriage and what happened to you while in it apparently has had a big effect on how you are feeling. Can you tell me more about what happened to you and what you feel caused you to feel resentful?

 

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
it was an abusive marriage, he was very selfish. I was very scared of him.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

It sounds like you went through a lot. Have you done any recovery work yet such as therapy, abuse support or seeking any help from others?

 

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Kate none it cross my mind to go to a therapy but they are expensive. I have the support of my best friend and her husband.I am a grumpy lady thats what my son call me today and hurts a lot. I cry so much...
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

I understand. I am sorry you went through such a bad time.

 

There are ways you can get help without having to pay a lot. Here are some that can help:

 

http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

 

http://helpguide.org/mental/post_traumatic_stress_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm

 

Contact your local United Way for resources in your area such as support groups and the local community mental health center. The community mental health center will see you based on a sliding fee scale. It may cost you little or nothing to go.

 

Domestic abuse is a horrific type of violence that is inflicted on another person in a relationship. It can be physical, emotional, verbal and/or sexual and involve controlling and anger behaviors. It damages your self esteem and feelings of being a worthy person. It also causes resentment, as you are experiencing. It also causes Post Traumatic Stress in most of the victims. Reoccuring nightmares, startle responses, trouble sleeping and a variety of other symptoms can affect the victim for years without treatment.

 

There are many ways to help yourself overcome what you went through and feel better. Try the resources above. Also, educate yourself on the effects of abuse. Here are some resources to help:

 

Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence: A Workbook for Women (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Edward S. Kubany Ph.D. ABPP and Mari McCaig M.S.W.

 

It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition by Meg Kennedy Dugan and Roger R. Hock

 

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

 

You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

 

Let me know if I can help any further,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5450
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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