Hello there and thanks for asking JA. Congratulations onyour sobriety that takes so much work. Iam sorry about your mother's death. It sounds like you have an anxiety disorderwith panic attacks. I am glad that you are doing breathing exercises becausethose can help you relax your body. When your thoughts become very anxious andyour mind tells you that something will happen take deep breaths and try tofocus on something positive like a pet, the ocean or a positive memory. Alsotell yourself that nothing will happen and this is your anxiety talking. Keep a daily journal of things that you aregrateful for. Also only give yourself 5minutes to worry about things and then let the thoughts go. Write the opposite thoughton your journal such as I am a great person who deserves happiness. I am clever,hard working, goal oriented,_________ and put some positive self-talk even ifyou don't mean that. Never forget that only 25% of people can stay sober whenthey have tried, you have overcome so much. Practice on turning the negative self-talk off. Somehow you havedeveloped an inner critic that tells you that you will not be able to dothings, but don't believe that voice. In alcohol recovery they call those negativethoughts "stinking thinking" so remember the thoughts are not you. I would also suggest online recoverymeetings. I also wonder if you aresuffering from depression.