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It is hard to know how a child who is 9 comes up with theidea of self-harm. Different children have told me different stories of how itstarted. I often wonder if most find that cutting and blood makes them feelbetter by accident. For instance,falling down and getting a bloody face may produce a numbing feeling because ofendorphins that will kill pain. It is an accidentally learned behavior. Thesame endorphins will also stop feelings. Many of the children I work with were abused and they told me by harmingthemselves they would put an end to the fear when will the hurt happen. I wonder what you remembered before youstarted harming yourself? I am glad that you are learning the skills on how tocope and this and learning how to feel your feelings. Most of my clients stopself-harm when they are able to tolerate their negative feelings and anxiety.The behavior is also like any other addiction because your body produces endorphinswhen you self-harm. Your body takes time to learn how to produce endorphins onyour own. Exercise, rest, yoga and meditation will help you produce natural endorphins and teach you how to reduce your stress.