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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5509
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND WHAT TYPE OF THERAPIST CAN HELP

Resolved Question:

PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND WHAT TYPE OF THERAPIST CAN HELP ME WITH THE
AFFECTS MY HUSBANDS CLINICAL DEPRESSION IS CAUSING ME. HE REFUSES TO GO BACKTO HIS DOCTOR, HE IS SELF MEDICATING (HE IS A DR. AND HAS ACCESS TO THE MEDS HE NEEDS). THE MEDS WORK, BUT HE HAS GOTTEN WORSE AND I NEED TO GET HELP WITH WHAT THIS IS DOING TO ME. I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND WHEN HE GETS ANGRY OR "CHECKS OUT" IT TEARS ME APART TO THE POINT NOW I KNOW I NEED HELP FOR MYSELF. COGNITIVE THERAPY DID NOT WORK FOR HIM. MIGHT WORK FOR
ME BUT WHAT TYPE OF DOCTOR WOULD YOU SUGGEST FOR HELPING ME HELP MYSELF
FRON GOING OUT OF MY MIND WITH THIS SITUATION.... THANKS, M
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

You can see any therapist that has a Master's degree or Ph.D. A therapist with a Master's degree or Ph.D will have the following letters after their name:

 

M.Ed- A Masters in Counselor education

 

M.S.W.- a Master's in Social Work

 

L.S.W.- the same as above, but Licensed

 

M.A.- a Master's in theories of psychology

 

MFT- Master's in Family and Marital therapy

 

Ph.D- a doctorate in Psychology

 

Any of these therapists can help you. You may benefit more though from someone who has experience in dealing with stress and depression. The effects of living with someone who has a mental illness can be overwhelming. So having someone who understands helps.

 

To find a therapist, talk to your doctor about a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. This site helps you find a therapist you can work with because each professional lists what they offer and their experience areas.

 

With some research, you should be able to find someone you can work with. But be aware that sometimes you need to switch if you feel you and the therapist do not click. Finding a therapist you want to work with is just like finding a doctor you feel comfortable with, you may need have patience until you find one.

 

It would also help if you had support from other sources. Consider a support group. It will help you feel less alone and provide you with the opportunity to find more resources for yourself and your husband. NAMI has a search available to find one. Here are some other resources that may help you:

 

http://www.nami.org/

 

http://www.nmha.org/go/information/get-info/mi-and-the-family/recognizing-warning-signs-and-how-to-cope

 

Intervention: How to Help Someone Who Doesn't Want Help by Vernon E. Johnson

 

When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness by Rebecca Woolis

 

Helping Someone with Mental Illness: A Compassionate Guide for Family, Friends, and Caregivers by Rosalynn Carter and Susan Golant M.A.

 

You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Kate , My husband will absolutely not talk to me about it anymore because all I say is that
there is help out there, I have tried the intervention thing and got blown out of the water by him and
family...I have read the books and his refusal for any kind of help has left me empty. I am alone here, no
family will help or talk to me, I have no friends that I would trust to speak of such problems because of
his position in our community. He will not do one damn thing to help himself except Meds.No social
interaction, will not read the material I get....I just do not think packing my stuff and leaving after
35 years will work for me. He was diagnosed in 1993 and It is a struggle every day...In your opinion
I know, it is like a belly button, everyone has one, but, Professionally speaking do I have a snowballs
chance in hell of being able to adopt skills to cope and possibly help him even if He does not seem
to want it? or is it just about helping myself now, not him. It makes me feel so selfish, Thank you and
I will agree to accept your answer after this....Thank you once again M
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

You're welcome!

 

Trying to get through to him and help him is always an option. The thing you need to keep in mind is whether or not the stress of trying to get him to get help is worth it to you. Right now, you are already stressed to the maximum and you are feeling very alone with no support. That is a very difficult place to be.

 

Just from what you have told me, helping yourself seems like the best option. Distancing yourself from the situation and working on how you feel may help you feel more revived. Also, you can still love your husband while keeping a distance to help you have a buffer against his behavior. This is not selfish. Think of it as taking care of yourself so you can be there for him. Otherwise, you cannot help him if you are stressed and run down yourself.

 

You can do this by developing your own interests, getting support through NAMI and support groups and being in therapy yourself.

 

You may find that working on your own issues helps your husband see things differently and maybe seek some help of his own. It happens, so there is always hope.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5509
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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