Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
You can see any therapist that has a Master's degree or Ph.D. A therapist with a Master's degree or Ph.D will have the following letters after their name:
M.Ed- A Masters in Counselor education
M.S.W.- a Master's in Social Work
L.S.W.- the same as above, but Licensed
M.A.- a Master's in theories of psychology
MFT- Master's in Family and Marital therapy
Ph.D- a doctorate in Psychology
Any of these therapists can help you. You may benefit more though from someone who has experience in dealing with stress and depression. The effects of living with someone who has a mental illness can be overwhelming. So having someone who understands helps.
To find a therapist, talk to your doctor about a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. This site helps you find a therapist you can work with because each professional lists what they offer and their experience areas.
With some research, you should be able to find someone you can work with. But be aware that sometimes you need to switch if you feel you and the therapist do not click. Finding a therapist you want to work with is just like finding a doctor you feel comfortable with, you may need have patience until you find one.
It would also help if you had support from other sources. Consider a support group. It will help you feel less alone and provide you with the opportunity to find more resources for yourself and your husband. NAMI has a search available to find one. Here are some other resources that may help you:
Intervention: How to Help Someone Who Doesn't Want Help by Vernon E. Johnson
When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness by Rebecca Woolis
Helping Someone with Mental Illness: A Compassionate Guide for Family, Friends, and Caregivers by Rosalynn Carter and Susan Golant M.A.
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.I hope this has helped you,Kate
Trying to get through to him and help him is always an option. The thing you need to keep in mind is whether or not the stress of trying to get him to get help is worth it to you. Right now, you are already stressed to the maximum and you are feeling very alone with no support. That is a very difficult place to be.
Just from what you have told me, helping yourself seems like the best option. Distancing yourself from the situation and working on how you feel may help you feel more revived. Also, you can still love your husband while keeping a distance to help you have a buffer against his behavior. This is not selfish. Think of it as taking care of yourself so you can be there for him. Otherwise, you cannot help him if you are stressed and run down yourself.
You can do this by developing your own interests, getting support through NAMI and support groups and being in therapy yourself.
You may find that working on your own issues helps your husband see things differently and maybe seek some help of his own. It happens, so there is always hope.