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Hi Kathy, it's good to hear from you.
I am sorry that you had to go through a spinal tap. That sounds painful and hard to go through. I hope your recovery is quick and easy.
It's great you brought up the time issue with your therapist. But what is important here is that you stood your ground, not how long it took you to say it. No one feels comfortable in that kind of situation, so focusing on how brave you were and how well you did facing this is more important.
This is also how you are viewing yourself when it comes to what happened to you. You are seeing yourself as the sexual assault. It has come to define you. But it is not who you are. You are not a dirty sexual assault victim. If I see you on the street, I see a person with all kinds of potential. I do not see someone who had something happen to her. It is only part of your past. You are a survivor and you are a complete person who has nothing to do with being assaulted. It happened to you, but it cannot define you unless you let it. And letting it win can be an option. But is it what you want? I imagine not. But you need to want to be whole and you have to want to put this behind you. That does not mean you will need to forget it. I don't think that is possible, for anyone. But shedding it like old skin and walking away and onward is an option. You just need to choose it. What do you think?