ASK SUZANNE, I told my husband that i want a divorce and have been very angry lately. I've just been mad. Jealous of everyone else and how much they have as compared to how much we have and just mad. Just very angry. I'm going to tell my psychiatrist on 10/10 when i go back for an appt. Until then any advice on how i can curb my anger and not take out so much on my husband? Thanks,Jen
You can expect to have a lot of emotions in the coming months. No one gets through a divorce without a lot of tears, anger, regret, etc.
The best thing you can do to get away from being angry until you see your psychiatrist is to focus on the future. Put all that angry energy into figuring out how your life will be afterwards. There's no sense in focusing on what you don't have now. Put your focus on how you will arrange things better when you are alone so that you are more financially stable, and can live the life you have envisioned.
He would like a second chance, and is going to make an appointment with a marriage counselor. He has two weeks to make the appt. Just in the meantime, how do i make myself happy?
It may be unrealistic to expect to feel really happy during this time. To make sure your husband understands the seriousness of the matter, it might be better if everything didn't go back to normal (unless you're feeling better now and are sure this is all going to work out.) Make plans to spend times with friends--if you do end up by yourself, you're going to need them more than ever. Start taking a yoga class, or buy a yoga dvd to use at home to keep yourself relaxed and centered. You might like to read this article to find out how to reinforce the good things your husband does, to keep him motivated to keep working on this marriage.
LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.