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Dr John B
Dr John B, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 557
Experience:  PhD in Clinical Psychology, registered clinical psychologist.
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Hi, I can never relax. I am constantly in stress that my

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I can never relax. I am constantly in stress that my life is not going the way I want to. I do not managed to plan, and it is so much to do that I can never finish. I am always late and in a rush. And this causes me a big stress. I always have an anxious thoughts at work, or I am with my boyfriend. I always think how I come across and worry if I said something that people will not like. Usually I just think what i do, what is left to do, and than thoughts turns to anxiety or thoughts that are negative. It feels like I am holding something and just cant' let go. It feels I can never do things right and I always blame myself for everything. I am very critical and demanding for myself but not at all to others. I have this for about 7 years and I am 25 now. I know I must have some sort of mental illness, as thoughts starts bombarding me, I can not see clearly what I am doing now and cant concentrate on the present. On top of that I am very tensed, especially neck and shoulders area. Please help me


Just to clarify, is the main problem that your are worrying all the time? So, becoming very anxious about many different things in you r life and having trouble with worrying thoughts?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes, that I am constantly worrying and it has effect on my body. As I said tension in the neck and shoulders, it shows on my face and it sort of feels that my mind is on a race. So it causes sometimes a headache. And I did worry when I was a child, but not to this extreme

Ok, thanks for the extra information.

It's impossible to diagnose someone via JustAnswer but I can comment a little on excessive worrying (as that seems to be what you are having problems with). Excessive and intense worrying is actually quite common and can be quite tricky
to get under control. When worrying pathological and begins to have a major
impact on life people can develop what is known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder
(GAD). You can find good descriptions of GAD and its treatment here and here.
You can also find the specific criteria required for a diagnosis here.


Intense worrying is extremely tiring and can begin to lead to feelings of depression or
increased anxiety. The main problem people have when trying to control their
own worrying is that whenever they try to make it stop they find they often
can't. Trying to stop thoughts is called 'thought suppression' and as you are
no doubt finding out it not only doesn't work often it can also make it worse.
The reason for this is that when you try and stop thinking about something you
have to actively think about that thing!

Sound a little strange? Let me give you a light hearted example. For the next two
minutes I want you to try really hard NOT to think about a white Polar Bear.
Give it a try. For two minutes do everything you can NOT to think about a White
Polar Bear. Go. What happens? You think about the bear right? Apply this to
worrying and you can see why it becomes a problem. When you are in the middle
of worrying about something and you try to make it are actually
thinking about it even more.


The good news is that there are really well established and effective treatments for
intense and excessive worrying. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is widely
regarded as the gold standard therapy for problematic worrying and in the
United Kingdom, the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence recommends
CBT as the treatment of choice for GAD, see here. I would strongly recommend that you consider CBT as a treatment approach. You could start by taking a look at this excellent CBT based self-help program . I use this with patients who have difficulty with worrying and I find it to be very helpful.


If after working through this you think you need further assistance then I would recommend you consult with a CBT trained therapist. CBT is usually offered by Psychologists (although not exclusively) and you can contact The British
Psychological Society here for assistance with finding an appropriately trained Psychologist in your local area. The NHS covers sessions with a Psychologist in many circumstances and you can begin to check this option here. Also, take a look at an article published by the American Psychology Association here. It's an interview with a senior Psychologist and covers some of the things you should consider when you looking for a Psychologist.


Alternatively, you could try a self-help book on the topic I can recommend a book titled Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry to help you begin to tackle your worrying. You can find it at .


I hope this has been of some help. Please let me know if you have further questions or would like me to clarify any part of my answer.

Dr John B and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I will definitely try what you have suggested. Thank you very much!
You are welcome!
Dr John B and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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