How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Olsen Your Own Question

Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
46062601
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Olsen is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I dont even know where to begin but suddenly I am uncovering

Resolved Question:

I dont even know where to begin but suddenly I am uncovering a huge web of lies with my husband of almost 19 years. He is constantly in a state of lies, telling different people...including myself, different stories. He is secretive...gets defensive/angered when I ask him about anything. I found out at the beginning of the year that he started having an affair with a much younger person...he is 44 ..she is 28. I aslo found out that he is/has been engaging in "threesome sex" with this girl he is having an affair with. He keeps telling me he has broken it off, yet I keep finding text/chats/emails...& even friends/family catching them together. He also keeps signing up with online dating services...looking for people interested in 3somes. I've found out, while he was away on a business trip, that our finances are out of control... (he keeps all hidden from me). He is also very OCD about many things. Many people are starting to feel there is something wrong with him.

My question is: what kind of illness am I possible dealing with here..& where do I begin to look for help for him? Or is this a simple case of midlife crisis?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi,
Thank you for writing in JustAnswer.
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's situation.
Let me ask you a few questions first.
When did his behavior start?
Has he exhibited some of his behavior before?
Please let me know by clicking on “Reply” and I will then craft my response.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm Regards,

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He has always had problems with lying...I am just beginning to understand the magnitude . He also has had some indiscretions with women in the past...unsure as to how far they have gone. I believe I can recall behaviors as far back as at least 10 + yrs ago.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi there,
Thank you for waiting.
I am so sorry to hear about your husband's situation.
It sounds like he may have mood disorder, neuropsychiatric and/or personality disorder as he lies all the time, is promiscuous and impulsive, acting out sexually behind your back, spends money recklessly, and obsessive about things in general.

Possibly, he may have mood disorder such as bipolar disorder, ADHD, and/or Personality disorder such as Antisocial and Borderline PD.
I also wonder if he has sex addiction.
Does he have depression or mood swings? If so, he may have Bipolar disorder.

Indeed, people with Antisocial PD rarely seek treatment for their illness.

He may need to work with psychiatrist (M.D.) and psychotherapist. Treatment for bipolar disorder consists of pharmacotherapy (by psychiatrist), individual psychotherapy (Cognitive-behavior therapy - CBT) or Interpersonal therapy (ITP) by a licensed psychologist or psychotherapist), and group therapy or support group by a psychotherapist. Pharmacotherapy is a critical aspect of treatment.

Individual psychotherapy will help him for support, ventilation of feelings, coping skills training, and direct advice. Group therapy is useful for her to address the issues – adherence to medication and therapy, regulation of self-esteem, and management of other psychosocial issues. Support groups are available in a local community clinic or a local hospital. Friends and family should join a support group to better understand the illness so that they can continue to offer encouragement and support to him.

He and you may contact his insurance company and get a list of providers (a psychologist and a psychiatrist) in your area.

Or he may ask his primary care doctor for a referral to a psychologist and a psychiatrist.

If he has no health insurance or need low cost treatment, you may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX to find the community mental health centers in your area in which he can get treatment described above even without health insurance.

To find a group therapy or a support group for him, contact a local hospital or a clinic by asking if they offer a group for people with these illnesses. If you like to find a support group online, check Mental Health America website section (http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/find_support_group) - Find a group in your area.

In any case, he may need to see a psychologist for assessment and testing to determine accurate diagnoses.

I hope your husband gets treatment for his condition as soon as possible. You also get support and help from a psychotherapist, family and/or friends in this difficult time.

Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,

P.S. Please remember to click the green ACCEPT button. You do not get charged twice; I will continue to answer your question whenever I am back online; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Olsen" in the front of your new question. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience: PsyD Psychologist
Dr. Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen
Clinical Psychologist
2336 Satisfied Customers
PsyD Psychologist