I have been married for 18 years, as happy as any couple can possibly be with all the stresses
of a modern marriage. We have struggled economically but we own our home and can pay our bills. A couple of years ago I went back to school to get my Masters and have received financial aid to pay for it. I will graduate this upcoming summer and will be responsible for my loans six months after graduation, about 30K. My parents were not able to financially pay for my BA ( I worked and paid off students loans for that degree myself.) Last year my father passed away and left my mother with a substantial amount of money. My mother offered 30K to pay off my upcoming student loans. My husband had been working long hours at his work keeping away from our family. I asked him if he could use the money to open his own business (which was always a dream for him.) My mother said she would give him the money as long as he paid her back in monthly installments, so she could use it to pay the student loans. Since my graduation date was still 1 1/2 years away we though this would work. In the end our financial situation would improve with my husbands business and my student loans would be paid off.
My husband purchased the equipments he needed, used a room in our house to set it up and all was well. When the entire business was set up he decided he was not going to leave his job, never looked for accounts for his new business. Total lack of desire to go forth with what we had agreed. My husband starts his job at 3pm he has plenty of time to find new account and start his new business if he so desired. Yes it would be hard work at first but in a few months he could probably leave his night job and continue with his own business. He never gave it a try! Now we have a room filled with computerized equipment (brand new) and no one is using it. It is quickly depreciating in price and he sleeps late until he has to go to work.
I offered to sell all the equipment, cut our losses and use the money to pay off a portion of the student loans. He refuses to do that. He says he will one day. IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR. I know he will never do anything with the business or the machines. I have lost total respect for this man!
My parents made that money working very hard and it bothers me that he took it so casually and has no intention in repaying my mother.
I am not sure if I should just take t upon myself to sell the machines myself, against his will or just leave it alone. Either way I feel there is such resentment I am not sure I can stay married to him. I have two children and do not want to get divorced. How do I get over this?