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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  25 years in private practice
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ment someone on blogtv and over days weeks we became like talking

Customer Question

ment someone on blogtv and over days weeks we became like talking hours hit it off and falling for her and her I ,.i live in u.s.a she is in philippines and wants to finish last year college then move here ,she started paperwork.we talk on phone a lot ,and she told her parents she is planning future with me ,they spoke to me on phone they appove.but when we first was doing like first few chats never told her was divorced she never asked ,am very stable but do have 2 boys at home one last year as senior and going on in service. other a 8th grader . what in first few chats lied and never gave real age ,said was in 20's lied am in 40,s ,but thing is fell in love with her and everytime wanted to tell her ,i got scared ,what do i do now please help she has started papers to come here ,am very stable home paid off etc ,everything else has been truth to her ,but never told her on my sons until told her on age ,so never really lied there because she never asked ,she thought in 20;s... please give me wisdom..have morals and values really feel so bad here.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 2 years ago.

Dr.Kappler :

You need to be honest with her about your age. Her culture is one where such a difference in age is tolerated. I have a doctor friend in his 50's married to a 25 year old from the Philippines. Also your two boys may have difficulty adjusting to her age and may need some time to prepare.

Dr.Kappler :

If you are honest about things it reduces the shock that may happen if you are not up front and honest. Now is the best time to come clean.

Customer :

how do i go about it? when we started talking it was just gentle chat but over several chats etc my feelings got serios...etc and something i said wasn't honest and reall need to come clean about it and if your ok with it all we can start fresh and move on together etc ,talked to boys there ok with it ..

Customer :

something like this

Customer :

talked with her parents today they feel great about me ,they never ask my age ever ,,

Customer :

all they want is someone to love and be good to there joan ...will do that but need this behind me ..eating me up inside

Customer :

should i write everything threw computer or regular mail ,or by phone ?????

Dr.Kappler :

You go about it by saying what you real age is and then seeing what her reaction is. You also need to talk to your sons and let them know of your intentions. See what they have to say and if they are angry. It is only when you are completely honest and above board that this has a chance of working. You stand a much greater chance of her going right back to her homeland when she finds out your true age.

Customer :

is there anything can say and back up to her about looking not at age but at what we have between each other ?that might make her think

Customer :

age is only a number ,talk with boys there ok with her age young or old ...

Customer :

talked with boys there ok with everything and age and all

Customer :

she told me she loves me if its true will i have to tell her everything else is truth i said and show her .and how do i make her see i am very sorry

Dr.Kappler :

I agree that the only thing that makes a difference in age go away is being supportive, compassionate and making her laugh. If it is alright with your sons I have found daughters to be more concerned so that part is good. No need to say you are making her sorry just that you want to be honest with her and keep the relationship on an honest course. I am only thinking of your situation.

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