Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
Sometimes it is much easier to express your feelings when you are not faced with someone looking at you. That is understandable.
There are some options for you. You can try a site on line such as http://www.etherapistsonline.com/. I don't know what they would charge but they do have many options. You could also work on your issues at home through self help. Here are some resources to help you:
Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi
Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
You can also use self help groups on line. That way, you can get support and still be anonymous. Here is a link to help you:
You can also work with someone here on Just Answer. Experts can work with people on an ongoing basis. You can continue with a thread you start or request a certain Expert you feel comfortable with. You reimburse the Expert as you get answers. It provides a therapist for you while also allowing you to remain comfortable at home. Also, experts can respond any time day or night and some also work weekends. So you can get an answer quickly and anytime you need one.
I hope this has helped you,Kate
I haven't heard from you. Did you have more questions or want clarification?
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If you feel that your relationship is abusive, there is a lot of help out there. You may want to consider contacting a domestic abuse hotline and also learning more about domestic abuse. People often do not realize that just because you are not being hit, does not mean you are not being abused. There are many forms of abuse including psychological/emotional. These can be just as damaging as physical abuse, maybe even more so.