Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you are seeing this very clearly. This person is emotionally abusive. She seems to feel that everything that she perceives that goes wrong in her life is your fault, even things she causes (like the canceled trip). She is trying to control you and make you the blame for everything so she doesn't have to ever feel bad.
It is very common in abusive relationships to try to find the good parts to hold on to. The previous years may have been good and you wish for them to come back. But anyone who has the capacity to ruin every event, good or bad, and bring up your past to yell at you about is not going to suddenly become nice again. There is something going on with her and unless she sees herself as the problem, she will continue with the same behavior.
It is also common in abusive relationships to start questioning yourself. After all, here is someone telling you everything wrong with you and they know you, so there must be something to it. But that is how emotional abuse works. The abuser says these things to demean and make the other person question who they are. And the abused partner wants to be loved so they try to improve themselves, which never works. It is about control and not about love.
It would be best for you to move on from this relationship. Your girlfriend is not going to stop her behavior and you will continue to get blamed for everything. If you find it difficult to end the relationship, consider counseling. You may need to talk to a therapist briefly to recover from this experience. To find a therapist, talk to your doctor about a referral. Or search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
Also, you can learn more about abusive relationships through this link:
I hope this has helped you,Kate
I understand. That is why I thought counseling, at least short term, might help. Leaving a relationship is never easy but in the case of emotional abuse, it may be necessary. The longer you stay the worse it will get. And it will be harder to leave.
It is scary to start over. It is at any age. But I understand you feel your options are limited. I think if you were able to have relationships in the past, then you will be able to do so again. For women, it is often more about who you are and how you treat someone than what you look like.